How To Become A Beautiful Beach Mom

Today John talks to Lisa Stout who placed tenth in the 6th Venus Index Transformation Contest.

Check out her transformation pictures from the 12 Week Contest:

Lisa Stout before the contest

Lisa Stout before the contest

Lisa Stout after the contest

Lisa Stout after the contest

A stay at home mom can make it work

Lisa was looking for a jump rope workout routine and found one on Rusty Moore’s Fitness Black Book website.  Rusty had good things to say about the Venus Index Workout so Lisa decided to try it.

She wanted a workout she could do at home while raising her three young children.  Lisa liked the three day Venus Index routine and the fact that all she had to do was follow the well laid out plan by John Barban.

For diet Lisa just followed the calorie estimates listed in the Venus Index program and did a little fasting.  She found she could skip breakfast and didn’t have to eat if she was not hungry.

Even though it was scary for her, Lisa joined the transformation contest to challenge herself.

Lisa found the Venus Index Community helpful because of the fact that it’s all women and that age was not a factor.  She noticed there were plenty of women over 40 years old and busy moms who were successful at their fitness goals and didn’t go to crazy extremes to get there.

 

You don't have to be a fitness model to be confident in a bikini

You don’t have to be a fitness model to be confident in a bikini

You don’t have to be a fitness model to feel confident in a bikini

The contest results were announced on Lisa’s 40th birthday and she was thrilled to have placed in the contest.

Lisa is especially happy because she loves to play at the beach with her kids.  She likes feeling confident in a bathing suit and being able to move and stay active with her children.

Even though her weight and measurements stayed the same, Lisa changed her shape significantly by following the 12 week Venus Index Workout and managing her calorie budget.

Lisa is inspired to try new physical activities and stay fit because of her accomplishments.

Links from the interview:

Advice from Lisa:

 

Read what Lisa wrote about her experience with Venus Index:

I finished all twelve weeks of the workout this time. Hooray for me.  The last two weeks
were the most difficult and  … Continue reading here


Listen to Lisa’s interview here, and please “like” it when you’re done:

Learn To Love The Gym By The Power Of Habit

Today John talks to Jessie T who placed Fourth in the 6th Venus Index Transformation Contest.

Check out her transformation pictures from the 12 Week Contest:

Jessie's pictures before the contest

Jessie’s pictures before the contest

Jessie’s pictures after the 12 week contest

It takes awhile for the mind to catch up with the body

Jessie tells John she still remembers herself as over weight with long curly hair.  She has a hard time recognizing herself in the mirror with short hair and being fit now.

It takes a while for the mind to catch up with the body.

She likes what she sees in the mirror now and was thrilled when she first started seeing her own ab definition.

Jessie said she would not have joined the contest if it were not for the Venus Index Community Forum. She said it was the best thing she ever did for herself.

The contest got her motivated to do the Venus Index Workout even though she hated the gym and with it she got amazing results.

All that matters is calories

Like many of us Jessie tried several different eating styles and did not get that all that matters is calories.

She found that most of the diets she looked at seemed to cater towards people’s desire to eat as much as they want;  all the fruit they want or all the fat and protein they want, and the list goes on.

She spent a lot of time finding many ways that did not work.  On some diets she was hindered by restrained eating.

She was sold on the program when she heard John and Brad talk about how there is no secret to weight loss;  eat what you want, just less.

Jessie loved Brad Pilon’s article “Fat Loss Divide and Conquer“and found she loves to fast.

She hated the gym, but now Jessie is a regular there known by name

Jessie had a bad experience at a gym once as so she hated the gym and didn’t really know how to lift weights.

After doing the Venus Index Workout she is not afraid to lift heavy and became a regular at her gym and now they know her by name.

Jessie didn’t have to stop running and in fact completed a half marathon during the contest.  She found that it does not matter if you do cardio or not.

She stopped doing cardio at the end of the contest and it did not hinder her weight loss progress.

Jessie was thrilled when she finally saw her own ab definition

Jessie was thrilled when she finally saw her own ab definition

Pick one thing, the power of habit

At one point after reading all the insane contradictory information in the diet and fitness industry Jessie realized she was paralyzed by analysis.

Once she joined the contest and focused on the workout and calories she realized that one victory spawns another and it starts snowballing into the rest of your life.

One good habit leads to the next as described in a book she read called The Power Of Habit by Charles Duhigg.

During the holidays she found if you just pick one thing to keep you on track it really helps.  She never stopped her workouts during the holidays and that kept her on the right path to success.

It is part of the power of habit.

She found that by doing this she learned to be consistent.

Links from the interview:

  • Eat Stop Eat – Diet Lifestyle protocol designed to help you to lose fat and regain freedom in your food choices
  • Original Venus Index Workout – Workout program for women that’s responsible for the most amazing transformations online
  • Venus Index Community – Friendliest and most supportive women’s only fitness community on the Internet

Advice from Jessie:

Read what Jessie wrote about her experience with Venus Index:

VT6 after photos and essay 250 words is by far not long enough to say all the things I
want to say about my experience. So I will simply share the lessons I realized …Continue reading here

Listen to Jessie’s interview here, and please “like” it when you’re done:

Nutrition & Training: Flexible vs. Structured

Here’s the next episode of the UNCENSORED Podcasts Season 2.

Today’s topic: Nutrition & Training: Flexible vs. Structured

Are you a type of person who needs a meal plan for every day or can you handle more loose structured way of eating?

Are you a type of person who needs a meal plan for every day or can you handle more loose structured way of eating?

When it comes to nutrition & training advice, how much structure is best for you?

Our last episode was on optimal vs. practical training and today John Barban & Brad Pilon take this topic a bit further while discussing flexible vs. structured training and diet.

As stated in our last article with the rise of obesity it’s safe to say that an emergency is on our hands when it comes to our health and we must take action.  But what nutrition & training advice should we follow to become consistent obtain successful results?

The information on diet and fitness becomes more and more daunting. From nutritional strategies consisting of: macro/micro nutrients, slow/fast proteins, what foods are good, what foods are bad, and the highly controversial thoughts on meal timing, a person could become easily overwhelmed.

Things aren’t much better on the training side of the house as we are faced with a myriad of factors to take into account. Ranging from: Workout Intensity, Volume, length of actual workouts, and the rest/recovery period.

While some structure is necessary how much structure do you actually need?

At what point does too much structure hinder or stop your progress?

In today’s UNCENSORED training, you will also discover:

  • With consistency, effort, and patience anyone can change their look significantly in one year
  • Why structured metric goals along with a more relaxed approach to diet and fitness makes you successful
  • How to determine the level of structure you need
  • How the structure you need is a continuum
  • How fitness products sell too much structure with goals that are too vague
  • How Top Level athletes follow extremely strict regimes for a specific purpose that is unsustainable to the average person
  • How too much structure and restrained dieting will slow down your progress
  • How there is a minimal amount of structure needed for each individual
  • For diet the first level of of structure should be how much you eat
  • People spend so much time on diet structure that they miss the point that what matters is how much they eat
  • How to manage your diet so that it is less structured
  • How to manage your training so that it is less structured

 

Transform Your Mind And Your Body By Keeping It Simple

Today John talks to Deanne Hernandez who placed first in the 6th Venus Index Transformation Contest.

Check out her transformation pictures from the 12 Week Contest:

deanna-hernandez-befores

Deanne before the contest

Deanne Hernandez - 1st Place - After Photos

Deanne Hernandez – 1st Place – After Photos

At the beginning of the contest Deanne did the Venus Index Workout but tried to eat gluten free because it sounded like a good thing to do.  Like many of us she was eating a certain way for no particular reason other than it seems to be the latest fad.  She realized she could not lose weight because she was still eating too many calories.  Her weight stayed the same during the first eight weeks of the contest.  She did not take her diet and calories seriously enough.  Then she got really motivated and kicked into gear, got motivated, got her correct mindset, took a good look at her calories, and ended up with some amazing results. You can change the way you look.  Deanne also decided to get involved in the Venus Index Community Forum and that helped her a lot.  She didn’t realize how much support and information was available there.  She highly recommends others to get involved there to help with your success.

Stay Motivated

Deanne realized that the process was mostly about mindset.  Like most of us have also learned she found she needed mindset techniques like cause and effect; “If I do this than what?”, and “You either do it you don’t.”  She decided she needed the contest with the end date to help keep her motivated.  She said the contest was the best thing she ever did for herself.  She realizes now that what she learned how to do during the contest is something she can do for the rest of her life.

Deanne loved listening to the previous contest winner interviews and loved to imagine herself looking like the pictures of Alisha.  Not only did the process transform her body but it transformed her mind.  She had spent most of her life with a poor image of herself and a lot of negative self talk.  The process she used during the contest and listening to Olya’s interview helped her stop the negative self talk.  She started treating her workouts and diet as gifts to her body.  She now treats herself with kindness and respect.

Knowledge Is Power

Deanne learned that managing the correct amount of calories, Eat Stop Eat, and eating foods you like were the keys to successful weight loss for her.  She learned the truth about calories from the Venus Index manuals and from the Venus Index community.  Deanne learned that the process was simple but not easy.  She decided to keep it simple and tune out all of the conflicting information that comes from the diet and fitness industry.

Keep It Simple

Deanne really liked April’s interview and the plan for doing the VI workout lifting weights three days a week.  Even though more advanced weight lifters can do the workout more days per week the three days per week kept it simple for her.  She decided she would do something every day.  Mostly she paid attention to her activity level for the day and tried to make sure she was taking 10,000 steps.  She walked while she listened to the Venus Index podcasts and that made it fun and enjoyable for her.  She decided that if she did not feel like exercising she would just do it anyway, even if she decided to make the workout easier or lift lighter.  Even on the days she decided to do an easier workout she found that once she got going she felt like pushing herself hard and it felt good.  She found that by doing this she learned to be consistent.

Deanne_After

Look what being consistent and motivated did for Deanne. She looks fabulous.

Links from the interview:

  • Eat Stop Eat – Diet Lifestyle protocol designed to help you to lose fat and regain freedom in your food choices
  • Original Venus Index Workout – Workout program for women that’s responsible for the most amazing transformations online
  • Venus Index Community – Friendliest and most supportive women’s only fitness community on the Internet

Advice from Deanne:

  • Don’t wait, Do something NOW.
  • Keep it simple
  • Figure out how many calories you need and go from there
  • Join a transformation contest
  • It is mostly about mindset
  • Set a goal with a date
  • Even if you don’t feel like it do an easy exercise
  • Exercise as a gift to your body
  • The process is simple, but not easy

Read what Deanne wrote about her experience with Venus Index:

I vaguely remember reading somewhere that the difference between success and failure was education. That idea now makes perfect sense after completing VT6. My failure in weight loss was completely due to my lack of education about the way the human body works. I was an overweight child, and my fittest years being in early college when I was the most active. After college, my weight crept on me and I went through …Continue reading here

Listen to Deanne’s interview here, and please “like” it when you’re done:

Your Fitness Goals in the New Year, How Bad Do You Want It?

What Is Your Motivation?

As we move into the New Year you might be starting to work on new resolutions or goals.  Will you be one who completes your goals this year?  How bad do you want it?  There is pain and sacrifice to achieve it, but there could be pain if you don’t achieve it.  Recently someone in the Venus Index Community posted this article “What is your Motivation?” and I was intrigued by the author’s use of pain motivation and his figurative “Alpo” as the pain.

I read this right around the US Thanksgiving holiday.   I was actually a bit frustrated on the holiday due to several weeks of social eating events and my jeans no longer fit comfortably.  Rather than have a meltdown I took a deep breath and decided I would not ruin the holiday with my precious husband Randy.  I would come up with a plan to fix the problem the next day.  The following day I decided to take a picture of the several pair of jeans that didn’t fit and place them on the refrigerator and pantry doors.  I also included a smiley face and the words “pain motivation”.  The picture reminded me of how awful I felt when the pants didn’t fit.

Be Kind to Yourself Right Where You Are, Right Now

As I was pondering this I had a thought about struggles and victories; cycles continue, struggle, victory, struggle, and victory. Self-worth issues don’t magically go away when you reach your fitness ideal. The best time to treat your body as the temple of beautiful treasures is right now, while continuing the lifelong seasons of reaching new goals.

Randy kind of frowned at me when I put up the picture in the kitchen because it was negative.  Not only that but he thought I looked perfect the way I was.   I was probably still somewhere around 12% body fat.  Since I tend to be hard on myself I have to be careful with the concept of pain motivation.  Many of my girlfriends tell me they must be careful with this concept as well because of a history of eating disorders that stem from issues of self-worth.  I’ve never had eating disorders or emotional eating issues but like many women I struggle with body image issues.  I have to remember that the images of fitness models in fitness magazines are Photoshopped.

I had to remind myself that even though I wanted to achieve a mini goal of fat loss that I was also okay right where I was.  I was healthy, I looked fit, no one saw the little extra bit of fat except me.  It was up to me to make the choice how far I wanted to take it.  Randy, knowing my personal history, warned me with his frown that he’d better not see me beating myself up over this mini goal.

Be Flexible, It’s Okay to Switch It Up

It only took a few weeks to achieve the goal of fitting into the jeans so I switched my motivator to a more positive pleasure motivator (the photo below with the quote “Nothing tastes as good as FIT feels”).  I still remember how I felt the day of this photo shoot and how ecstatic I was when I saw how the pictures turned out.  I decided to make my own (first ever) motivational poster and use it for myself to continue on with my mini goal.  So far it’s working for me.

I switched to a positive pleasure motivator.

I switched to a positive pleasure motivator.

How Bad Do You Want It

The author talks about moving from a state of “Coulda Shoulda Woulda” to a state of “Must” and that reminded me of when I reached my peak of weight gain in 2009.  My weight topped out at over 170lbs.  Something had to change.  I couldn’t possibly do more fitness so I had to change something else.  I had to change my mental mindset and I decided to simply eat less and cut my portion sizes in half.  As I made progress losing weight I constantly used a symbol in my mind of door #1 and door #2.  Door #1 represented achieving the fitness level I had always wanted.  Door #2 represented everything else, every excuse, and simply staying where I was or worse.

The vision of what was behind door #2 was so painful to me that I felt I had no choice.  I must take door #1 which meant continuing to eat at a calorie deficit.  It didn’t mean I had to deprive myself of food; I simply had to eat the right amount to achieve my goal.  This is the beauty of the Anything Goes Diet, Eat Stop Eat, and the Venus Index principles.  Every day when I wanted to eat more than I needed I simply told myself I could have more tomorrow (door #1).

I realized that I used the pain and pleasure motivators all along; door #1 was painful to go through at times but pleasure was on the other side, and door #2 was more pleasurable to go through but pain was on the other side.  Which did I want?  I chose door #1 just about every day for two years.

This dress was my motivator and my reward for achieving my goal.

This dress was my motivator and my reward for achieving my goal.

I had posted up a catalog picture in the kitchen of a swim dress from an athletic clothing company because I wanted to purchase and wear the dress someday.  The picture was a symbol of my door #1 and I kept it posted in the kitchen for about a year.  I achieved that goal and purchased the dress and wore it to the Caribbean last Christmas.  It was my motivator and my reward.

Positive Motivators Worked for Shannon As Well

My friend Shannon who is a busy working mom and wife struggled all her life with weight fluctuations up and down.   She said the tools that finally helped her nail down her success were the Reverse Taper Diet, the Anything Goes Diet, and the Venus Index Workout metric goals using the “Golden Ratio“.

For motivation Shannon said this:

       My past experiences taught me about several components to successful weight loss:  estimating my daily calories so I can be sure I am in a deficit, following an exercise program that I enjoy, taking measurements to track my progress, and working towards a set of daily goals. 

     The process isn’t all that exciting, but the outcome is!  I have been using a planner and stickers to track several daily goals since before my baby was born, including a sleep goal, a calorie deficit goal, a step goal, and a workout goal.  I get a sticker for hitting each of these daily goals, and I find that the number of goals I hit in a week is strongly correlated with weight loss (or maintenance) success. 

     It’s a simple system, and I can easily see the little wins as they pile up.   I like to think about these daily goals as little gifts I am giving to myself every day that have both short term and long term positive effects.

Shannon’s results motivated her husband to start the Adonis Index program.  I would say positive motivation worked very well for her indeed:

Positive motivators worked for Shannon

Positive motivators worked for Shannon

Experiment and Find What Works for YOU

Motivation is different for each person.  You must first define what you want and set your goal.   Then find what motivates you.  Be flexible and if something isn’t working try something else.  Make sure it’s fun and really does motivate you.  Be kind to yourself at all times.  You can change and adjust your plan any time you want.  That is the beauty of experimentation.  You don’t have to stay stuck in a plan that is not working, causes you anxiety, or ends up being destructive to your self-worth or self-image.  We all make mistakes sometimes and learn from them.

  • Set goals
  • Experiment
  • Find what motivates you
  • Make it fun
  • Be kind to yourself
  • Make it a daily routine
  • Track progress
  • Get support
  • Give yourself rewards
  • Be flexible

It is the Yew Year, 2013.  What are your goals?  How bad do you want it? Make it happen.

Ro

 

How Clear Is Your Purpose?


“A person with a clear purpose will make progress on even the roughest road. A person with no purpose will make no progress even on the smoothest road.” –Thomas Carlyle

Be Ambitious

Part of goal setting is deciding what you want and then having enough ambition to take steps to fulfill your purpose.  People who avoid failure are more focused on protecting themselves from failure or the embarrassment of not completing the steps.  On the other end of the spectrum is over ambition, setting unattainable or highly improbable goals, or trying to take risky short cuts to achieve over aggressive goals.  In the middle are achievers who have a strong desire to accomplish things important or gain success from difficult tasks.   Where do you fall in this spectrum?

In my last article I wrote about moving forward after mistakes.  It’s hard right after making mistakes to keep going.  Sometimes it requires a short period to reflect and regroup.  Being fearful can cause you to procrastinate, give less effort, or even self-sabotage (FYI John Barban talks about self-sabotage in the Anything Goes Diet).

Have you ever found yourself in a diet yo-yo?  If so, you probably have a sabotage point somewhere near the bottom of the yo-yo and this is important to recognize so you can move forward or as John says “instead of backing up go full steam ahead so that you never see that number again”.  I like that.  Full steam ahead!

Sometimes It Takes Longer

Just like anything else in life sometimes things take longer than you’d like.   About 15 years ago I’d gone through the police academy with my husband and applied for a job with the Sheriff’s department the same time he did.  The process to get hired in law enforcement is especially strict in California and only 1 out of 50 pass the full battery of tests.

During the evaluation process at the very end (after five months of testing and extensive background tests) right at the point before they hand you the acceptance letter I learned that I did not pass.   This failure was devastating to me.  I had to regroup and be happy for my husband who did pass and give him my full support for the career he was starting.  I had to accept that the time was not right for me.

Life is not always fair.

As I motored on with my life and retired from my software engineering job I’d realized how far I’d come in dealing with some personal issues.  I had a feeling I’d finally faced enough of the issues that I might pass the law enforcement hiring processes if I tried again.

But my academy certificates had expired and I had to start the police academy again from the very beginning.  This was daunting because the academy is like a mini boot camp chalk full of tests.  If you fail any one test you get one chance for remediation and then if you don’t pass you are kicked out.  This happens even if it’s the last test on the last day of class; all is lost.  Looming overhead after the academy graduation were another six months of hiring tests and still the one testing at the end that could be my sabotage point.

I moved forward, full steam ahead, and graduated from the academy with higher honors compared to the first time through. I faced the interview at the end with the very same doctor that failed me the first time.  It was actually a fun interview and I had a feeling I would pass but I had to wait two weeks until I received the answer.

I passed!

It was a huge victory for me.  It meant I had dealt with some serious issues in my life and won.  I defeated the failure I’d carried around for ten years.   I got the acceptance letter and the honor of wearing the badge and serving my community.  To this day I’m extremely proud when I put on that uniform and strap on all that gear because I know how much I had to overcome to get to that point.

You Can View It as a Challenge

You might have a similar daunting road ahead of you with weight loss or a situation in your life that you want to change.  You can view it as a challenge or a threat that leads to embarrassment of failure.  You can associate effort on the demanding tasks with dedication, commitment, and involvement or view it as overloading and stressful.  The choice for your mindset is yours.

What will you do?

On the other hand you can become over ambitious and set too high a goal or an unrealistic goal.  You might then try to take short cuts to get there.  Some of us do that with eating too low to try and make weight loss happen faster and it ends up backfiring.  Sometimes all you really need to do is practice for a while until you have enough skill to know how to set an appropriate goal for yourself.

You Can Adjust Your Goals

You can always change your goals as you move along.  I changed my goals several times after joining the Venus Index community.  When I started my weight loss journey my only goal was to get down to a size 8 because that was the smallest I’d ever been as an adult.  Then I changed my goals to match the Venus Index “Golden Ratio” metrics.

As I continued to lose weight I got down to a size 2-4 and got frustrated because I could not seem to get my waist down to the golden ideal.

It took me a long time to realize that I really don’t need to worry about it.  I became fit and lean and I have a thick torso because of my years of heavy lifting.  I needed to know that my waist wasn’t fat and the DEXA scan gave me that.   The data showed that the bulk of my 11% body fat is in my arms and upper legs and that my abdominal area was 0% body fat.  So I finally learned to accept the fact that this is how I am, this is the shape of my body, and it is okay.  So I have learned to maintain my shape by looking in the mirror and how my clothes fit.  It’s freedom to not have to rely on the scale or other metrics anymore.

Pick Realistic Goals

I would like to have a thinner waist but it would mean giving up heavy lifting and abdominal work which I love.  For now I choose to maintain right where I am.  At any time in the future I can change my goals again if I want to.  First I would research to find out if it is a realistic goal and then I would take whatever steps are necessary to achieve it.

How Clear Is Your Purpose?

 

Tips for Goal Setting:

  • Decide what you want
  • Start small but keep going
  • Believe in yourself
  • Write down your goals
  • Set small goals and accomplish them
  • Do everything you can to stop procrastinating
  • Dream big
  • Set up your environment for success
  • Set long term goals and short term goals (with realistic time frames)
  • Don’t make a big deal out of each mistake
  • Research to find out if your goal is attainable
  • Adjust goals as needed
  • Get the right tools
  • Enjoy the journey
  • Plan ahead
  • Ask advice from people you respect (even if you don’t like them)
  • Give yourself rewards for achievements (not food)

 

Clarify your goals

It’s important to know where you operate in the ambition spectrum so you can make necessary changes. If you are over ambitious what steps do you need to take?

If you procrastinate or self-sabotage what steps do you need to take?  Is your goal realistic?  These are things you can think about as you move forward in your journey. You can adjust your goals as you move along.

Once you set your goals, determine the steps you need to take, have fun and enjoy the journey.

 

It is never too late to follow your dreams!

-Ro

Falling Forward: Turning Mistakes into Success

Don’t dwell on what went wrong. Instead, focus on what to do next. Spend your energies on moving forward toward finding the answer. -Denis Waitley

The hardest part about mistakes is to keep moving forward but that is what you must do.  Everyone makes mistakes but if you keep moving forward the mistake will soon be behind you.  Have you ever made a mistake at a new job?

I currently work as a volunteer patrol deputy for our local Sheriff’s department.  I had spent 25 years prior working for a corporate high tech company and then decided to go through the police academy and volunteer for the community in a unique way.

The environment at a law enforcement agency is vastly different from the corporate company I was used to.  Yes, I made mistakes.  It’s hard on the ego when you get called on the pad and into the Lieutenant’s office.  Part of me wanted to quit and say this is just not for me.  But when you keep moving forward you can sometimes become better for having made the mistake.  The best thing to do is own up to it and face whatever consequences come with it and continue to do your best.

Because of what I learned from that mistake I’m now in a position to help coach others on how to avoid that particular mistake should the opportunity arise.  Can you think of ways that you became better because of mistakes you have made?

As I lost 60 pounds I chose to move forward even when I made mistakes at work as well as on my weight loss journey.

The Sheriff gives a speech every year at our official swearing in ceremony.  Because consequences can be severe for mistakes made in law enforcement he always talks about the concept of owning up to mistakes and moving on.  He has an awesome sense of humor and a fun personality, but he shows us his serious side when he talks about consequences in our work mistakes.

The other option is to stop, freeze, or quit.  If you stop moving forward and are worried about making more mistakes you will never progress.  Every successful person has made mistakes and know they will make mistakes again.  They don’t live in fear of mistakes.

My friend April and I share some of the exact same mistakes regarding motherhood.  Sometimes this gives us a special bond with a friend and helps us deal with residual guilt and healing.  For women especially there is a certain amount of guilt we all feel about not being perfect mothers for our kids.   Whether it is simply a matter of raising the children, sharing custody, adoption, congenital medical issues or children’s health issues, whatever is the circumstance these all cause very deep emotional issues for women.

Because of what happened in April’s situation she lost a lot of weight and became very thin, then did the yo-yo in the opposite direction and gained a lot of weight and started down the path of an emotional eating disorder.

April believes that the reeling torment on the inside was being reflected on the outside (manifested in her yo-yo body weight), and that she was punishing herself for the guilt she felt.

April finally decided to take a step forward when she joined the Venus Index Community.  She owned up to her mistakes with eating along with the other mistakes.  She allowed herself to be accepted into a community of women who understood and treated her warmly and with respect.  April said this has helped her get her body right and get through some rough times.  This is helping her get her mind right as well. April learned that sometimes getting support means you have to give it order to get it.

April wants to learn to forgive herself for not being perfect for her son.  She shares a unique story where she is the birth mother and she shares a special bond with Rebecca Bennett.  April wants to be a Venus both inside and out.  I think she is well on her way and moving forward now.

As we start out on our weight loss journey full of hope, new tools, new books to read, and new workouts we must remember to forgive ourselves from the mistakes that we will make.  We must learn to keep moving forward, or falling forward, or leaping forward, anything but staying frozen in fear of mistakes.

Whether the mistakes are at a job or school, or on your weight loss journey you can move forward and learn to overcome adversity.   Do you have trouble getting over a sabotage point; have anxiety with food choices, or food addictions?  These can all be overcome; you can learn a new way to eat regardless of your situation.  Are you afraid of the gym or are you afraid to lift heavy?  This too can be overcome with a winning mindset.

 

April chooses to leap forward from her mistakes. You can make this choice too.

What about you? Will you learn from your mistakes and keep moving, or will you let mistakes control you?

It is your choice.

-Ro

Ten Thousand Ways that Won’t Work

“Ten Thousand Ways that Won’t Work…”

As I finally started finding success with my weight loss I exclaimed to my husband Randy “I can’t believe how simple this is yet I failed at it for at least 15 years!

So Randy reminded me of the quote Thomas Edison made regarding his process for inventing the light bulb:

“I have not failed. I’ve just found 10,000 ways that won’t work.”Thomas A. Edison

Randy and I both laughed at how I found probably the 10,000 ways how not to lose weight!   Although the victory is still sweet for me, you don’t have to take 15 years and wait until you are 50 years old like I did.

Lifelong Eating Habits Engrained

As a young child I grew up in a poor family with four siblings and a single mom who tried her hardest to care for us under extreme adversity.  This was in the 1960’s and although we lived in the land of abundance it did not always make it to our table.

This was back when bringing food stamps to the store felt shameful yet my mom held her head high and did what she could to provide for us.  I remember how she treated all the food in the refrigerator as a precious commodity.

Circa 1969, I am on the far left and that is my identical twin on the far right.

We didn’t go out to eat much and she prepared healthy meals for us and packed our school lunches.  She would get mad if we tried to skip breakfast and she was always there in the morning to cook something simple like one fried egg and a piece of toast with butter.

We didn’t have a lot of snacks.  On occasion we might get a treat and go to taco bell.  I laugh at the memory of it because there were 5 or 6 menu items to choose from, all pictured up on the overhead wall.  Looking back, I think she had it right back then.

But I also remember her making us popcorn and placing it in a big bowl in the middle of a round table. All of us kids sat around the table and scarfed it down as quickly as we could afraid that others would get more.

Overall I think this season of my life taught me to appreciate the food we had and to not mindlessly eat.

The next season of learning about food happened for me in the foster homes I lived in after that.  I was fortunate to live with a Filipino family and an Italian family who both taught me how to cook their ethnic foods.

I was always ambitious and loved to be the one who cooked dinner and receive the praise for the meal.  We prepared our food at home and going out to eat was a rare treat.   At this point I started eating more and eating seconds was encouraged in both families, but I was young enough and luckily wasn’t too chubby (yet).

This was probably where learning about food portions started becoming distorted for me.

Me at California International Marathon a while back.

Learning to Love Exercise

My first high school job was as a summer camp counselor and I decided then that I loved the outdoors and being physically active.

I started my first full time job at a high tech company during my senior year of high school. The company I worked for encouraged physical activity and the work environment was like a college campus.  There was a par course and running trail, gyms, locker rooms, showers, basketball and volley ball courts, and even a softball park.

I took an aerobics class in the campus gym when I was 19 years old and that is when I met a 50 year old instructor who had the body of a teenager.

The image of her always stuck in my mind and I decided I wanted to be like her when I was 50.

I didn’t stick with the aerobics class because it didn’t fit my schedule but I learned that music made exercise more fun.

I started running outside and lifting weights at the gym and bought my first Walkman.  Walkman’s were expensive and it was a big clunky thing that used cassette tapes and ran on double A batteries but it was well worth the investment.  It helped me look forward to exercise (If you are not feeling like working out, music will always give you that needed pump).

If you are like me then you may also hate running and even weight lifting. However, if you stick to it for some time, you will start seeing some amazing results and the positive effect exercise can have on your mood and life in general, and you WILL LOVE IT.

The Slow Weight Gain Creeping up, Sounds Familiar?

The fact that I spent my lunch hour exercising meant I had to pack my food rather than go to lunch with other employees.

For years I packed my food and ate when I could during breaks.  These were habits that serve me well today.  What I didn’t realize was that my portions were still too big and I ate too much.

I exercised hard and at one point realized I had run six miles a day, six days a week for 10 years, along with weight lifting and other physical activities.

This was in the 1980’s when eating fat free and high carb was the in thing and so I did this for many years.  The memory makes me cringe now.  All the running made me hungry and I ate too much.

I ate this way for years while running marathons and couldn’t figure out why I was not the athlete that I wanted to be.

As time went on my weight kept doing the slow creep up so I tried several popular diets which only worked temporarily and some didn’t work at all.

These were the diets I tried (if you been in involved in this industry for a while chances are you’ve tried them too):

  • Low fat high carb
  • Slim-Fast
  • Weight Watchers
  • Atkins
  • Organic
  • Weston Price Diet
  • The Schwarzbein Principle
  • Eat Fat Lose Fat
  •  The Ultimate PH Solution
  • The Makers Diet
  • A  friends diet from a personal trainer/dietician

I finally just got sick of it all and made up my own diet with healthy foods I enjoy and smaller portions.

I ate my meals from small desert plates and bowls.  I stopped eating in the evenings.  I started calling what I did mini-meals and mini-fasts and I lost 40 lbs.  Then I found Eat Stop Eat, The Venus Index Workout, and the Venus Index Community.

I recently read the Anything Goes Diet.  I highly recommend this book to anyone interested in losing weight or maintaining fitness.  I found this book to be amazingly insightful and John Barban covers all bases.  Honestly the book is so good that I can’t see how you wouldn’t succeed if you actually read the book and followed the principles.  It gave me some new ideas for my own maintenance plan.

Even though we still have so much diet confusion and conflicting advice in the media it seems like the simple truth is buried there, eat less, move more.

Here are some examples where the truth does exist in sometimes humorous ways.  I do not necessarily agree with everything in these articles but you can see some points of truth:

After attempting various diets and eating restrictions over the years I have learned to cherry pick from them and found what works for me.  Some days I temporarily change things up and eat low carb or try something different.

Still, my all-time favorite books about thinking of successful ways to eat are John Barban’s Anything Goes Diet, Brad Pilon’s Eat Stop Eat, and Bethenny Frankel’s “Naturally Thin”.

 

Before and After.  The slowly the weight crept up year after year, but the Venus Factor gives you hope.

Before and After.  Slowly the weight crept up year after year, but the Venus Factor gives you hope.

Don’t get Discouraged by Failures

Don’t get discouraged by failures.

Every successful person has failures and part of why they are successful is that they learn from their mistakes.

It is just like Thomas Edison inventing the light bulb.  You don’t have to reinvent the light bulb or the wheel.

The tools are right here right now.  Using the available tools may not stop you from all your mistakes, but you can keep your chin up and learn from them.  Most likely these tools will prevent some wasted effort and you won’t have to wait until you are 50 years old to achieve your dream.

If I find 10,000 ways something won’t work, I haven’t failed. I am not discouraged, because every wrong attempt discarded is another step forward.

Thomas A. Edison, Encyclopedia Britannica

US inventor (1847 – 1931)

Since you don’t have to learn the 10,000 ways how not to lose weight like I did, what are you waiting for?

It is never too late to follow your dreams!

-Ro

How to Sharpen your Sword and Win the Battle

Sharpen your sword first and prepare yourself to win the battle.

Losing weight and getting fit is hard.  All along the journey I have worked hard, experimented, learned from mistakes, acquired skills, and changed habits that will continue for the rest of my life.  As I worked through the maintenance phase of my journey I realized that all the skills I acquired along the way still come into play.

I have come to think of all the effort I’ve put into the journey as “Honing my Sword”.  I have created a sharp edged sword, used it in battle, won the battle, and I am continuing to keep my sword sharp and I still need to use it now and then.  It may not seem as daunting as when I first started the journey, but it still takes effort to keep my blade sharp.

The Various Tools

For some the tool that needs to be sharpened is the mental mindset against emotional eating.  For others it is consistency at the gym or even getting to the gym. For others it is using motivational tools and learning to find an easier way to think about food.

For everyone it is about setting up your environment for success.

The whole journey requires a lot of patience and even more so in maintenance since progress is much slower. Early in the process you tend to lose fat relatively quickly but you still have frustrating plateaus and life stresses that slow you down.

Even if you do everything right you will have plateaus. The body seems to make progress in “chunks” that are not linear. During these times I like to focus on the victories and “ride one victory to the next”; setting a positive mindset and tuning out negative thoughts.

Everyone has a victory to remember:

  • It could be friends or family noticing your weight loss or fitting into some new clothes (or some old clothes).
  • It could be reaching a goal you had set for yourself.
  • It could be completing a 24 hour fast or even skipping a meal.
  • It could be you getting compliments on how you look or a new personal best at the gym.
  • It could simply be you getting to the gym consistently for a period of time.
  • It could be someone in the gym noticing how hard you work out.

In maintenance you still have victories and the same positive mindset can be applied. One of the biggest victories that you should always remember is how far you have come; how much you have succeeded since you started the journey. Always be kind to yourself and reward yourself in ways that do not involve food. Items you need for the gym or new clothing are nice rewards.

Capture ways to remember your victories to help focus on them throughout your journey.

My Battle

The first picture is from 2005 and the second is from this year’s fitness photoshoot.

For me it was simply finally having the knowledge to eat less.  Getting to the gym and enjoying exercise was and still is integrated into my life as much as tying my shoes or brushing my teeth.

The Venus Index is still my all-time favorite workout and I believe it gave me the shape I now have.  It also helped me to belong to a support community and to have the support of family and friends in my life.

But after experiencing success I find I still need to put in effort to keep my mindset sharp and focus on the positive.  I still have to put effort into eating the right amount for me.  I still use every tool I have acquired and developed and honed and I now realize these will be what I continue to use for the rest of my life.

It’s Not Wasted Effort

What you do now will continue to benefit you for the rest of your life.

It is not wasted effort!

Do not be discouraged or think the effort only helps you get through the day today.  Not only are you resolving the specific situation you currently deal with, but as you succeed you are honing your sword and keeping it sharp for all future battles.

Sharpen your sword and win the battle,

– Ro

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