Preparing For Your Contest Photo Shoot – Part 1: Posing Practice

The deadline for the 7th Venus Index Transformation Contest on April 15th is quickly approaching.  This article is part of a 3 part series to help gear you up with ideas on how to make your photo shoot fun and successful.  We will cover posing practice, lighting, photography, scene setup, water load and deplete, bikini and shoe selection, tanning and other grooming ideas.

Preparing for your contest photo shoot – Part 1: Posing practice

When it comes to taking good pictures getting in shape is only part of the equation; it is the most important part but you still have to learn how to “present yourself” once you get there.  Posing is something you should start practicing now if you want successful pictures.  It takes some effort and can be tiring.  Like most “training” it works well if you can spread it out over time so you can rest in between sessions.  This gives you time to mull things over and come up with creative ideas to try out for the next session.  Always try to end your sessions on a positive note.

We already have a tutorial with Loren Jacobson and an interview with her; there is much to learn from Loren’s experience and wisdom.  I’ve tried this type of posing with a group of competition girls and it is hard; it takes practice.

One of the very first Venus contest winners, Alisha McGinn, did a phenomenal job with with taking pictures.  She took first place in two contests.  You can see the pictures and listen to what she did to make them so awesome during her interviews for the 1st Venus Index Transformation Contest and the 3rd Venus Index Transformation Contest.

Alisha is one of the first pioneers of the Venus Index program and her driving force, dedication, and trust in John and Brad have enabled most of us to enjoy new features of this program like the Reverse Taper Diet of which she is featured on the cover.

Alisha did so well on her photo shoot that her picture is featured on the cover of the Reverse Taper Diet manual

Alisha did so well on her photo shoot that her picture is featured on the cover of the Reverse Taper Diet manual

The Reverse Tape Diet manual and calorie calculator are included with the Immersion product.

Mandatory poses

You will need to take a mandatory front, side, and back photo, arms down, just like the before pictures you submitted.  These are for comparison but you want to make these look nice and show your best.  Once those are done you can be as creative as you want.  You can submit 10-15 photo’s if you wish.  You need the current days newspaper front page in a photo with you for each outfit and scene, they do not have to be in a “posed” picture.

Gather up photo examples

Spend some time finding pictures from magazines, supplement packages, advertisements, and internet searches and save or print them.

Here are some examples of pictures found online, in magazines, and even supplement packaging

Here are some examples of pictures found online, in magazines, and even supplement packaging

Practice imitating the various poses in front of a mirror.  Try it from various angles and you might find your right side or left side is better.  You will find that some poses look awesome on the model in the picture but not for you, or that with your physique it looks better with the same pose slightly modified, or even greatly modified.  This is where spending the time practicing will pay off.  Once you practice many different poses you will find the ones that look best for you.

Practice with a camera

Once you decide on poses that look best on you try them with a camera.  Lighting is important and we’ll get to that in part 2, but for now practice with a camera because you might find the poses need a few more adjustments.  Things are slightly different in the camera lens and on the actual photo.  If possible try taking the pictures in various light settings to see what looks best for your look on camera.

It is really important to practice with the camera whether you ultimately take the pictures at home or with a professional photographer.  If you choose to use a professional photographer you will want to know ahead of time what poses present yourself the best.  Many photographer’s may not be able to help much with posing or know what gives you your best look.

Change up the lighting

Try the same poses in different lighting if possible;

  • inside and outside
  • morning
  • middle of the day
  • sunset
  • sunlight streaming through a window
  • a lamp or two placed in various places around you
I practiced by copying online fitness model poses

I practiced by imitating online fitness model poses and experimented with lamp placement

Try different facial expressions

Some poses look best with you looking away, others look better with you looking into the lens as if you are looking someone in the eye, smiling or otherwise communicating to them with your expression.  Some girls can get away with a pout or sexy look while others look better with a simple smile.  Older women like myself usually do better with a smile while we might have done okay with a more pouting look in our younger days.

Have fun trying out new poses and expressions!

Have fun trying out new poses and expressions!

Try different stances

Front poses are usually best offset slightly with a kind of twist to show more of an hour glass shape, but you don’t have to follow any rules.  Find what works best for you.  I ended up doing some pictures offset and some straight on.

On the left; an offset stance with a slight twist shows of an hour glass.  One the right; straight on.  Try each.

On the left; an offset stance with a slight twist shows more of an hour glass shape. On the right; straight on. Try each if you want.

The back view pose

I found this pose to be the hardest.  In fact I spent a least an hour getting this one photo.  My extremely patient friend Judy helped me.  I emailed her what I had and she said “No that needs work”.  Then she pointed me to a fitness contest website (BodyBuilding.com IFBB Arnold Classic) with professional fitness models to attempt to imitate.  I took Judy’s advice and tried to imitate images from my computer screen.  I snapped some pictures, emailed her, and waited for her response.  She responded with feedback on what to improve and we repeated this process at least 10 or more times.  It was frustrating,  hard, and tedious but I am very grateful for the help I got from Judy.  It is a difficult pose but with practice you will see how you need to arch your back, set your head, neck, and shoulders.

I found the back pose to be the hardest but well worth it in the end

I found the back pose to be the hardest but well worth it in the end

 

Enjoy your own progress, your own physique, and have fun!

Most of all have fun and enjoy the progress you have made with your shape.  The end of the contest is only five weeks away.  If you have been consistent since the beginning you should be seeing some progress so enjoy those hard earned victories now while you keep moving toward your goals.

Do not compare yourself to others

One key thing to remember when using fitness model photo’s like this is to not compare yourself to them.  You have your own beauty, your own physique, your own gifts, and you have no idea what the model did to get her look.  The pictures are just examples for trying to figure out what poses bring out your best shape.  Do not aspire to be them; aspire to be the best you possible.

On Friday we’ll cover part 2;  Photography, lighting, photo scene selection and setup.

-Ro

 

How To Survive Years Of Fad Diet Yo-yo’s And Finally Succeed.

Today we get to read what Lori Anderson wrote about placing eighth in the 6th Venus Index Transformation Contest.

But first, check out her transformation pictures from the 12 Week Contest:

Lori Anderson before and after the 12 week contest

Lori Anderson before and after the 12 week contest

More of Lori before and after

More of Lori before and after

Lori experienced what many of us have experienced; falling into the trap of complicated fad diets and regimented workout programs only to end up in a perpetual yo-yo that can go on for years or even decades.  Sometimes it is embarrassing for us to admit all the various ways we tried that did not work.  In the end, with the right tools, we can be stronger.

Why? Because depriving yourself of foods you love and over complication is not sustainable.  In Lori’s own words we will see how the Venus Index Workout and Eat Stop Eat finally helped Lori to succeed in her diet and fitness goals.

In Lori’s own words:

Donuts don’t make a people fat, people make themselves fat. The power is not in the object, but the person. Making this connection with my work-outs and eating habits helped me realize that I was the only person going to give my self the body I desired, not a protein bar or meal timing.  It took a lot of messing up before I realized this liberating principle … Continue reading here

The Girl Who Gets To Wear Cute Clothes Into Her 50’s

Today John talks to Terry Clauss who placed seventh in the 6th Venus Index Transformation Contest.

Check out her transformation pictures from the 12 Week Contest:

Terry Clauss before the contest

Terry Clauss before the contest

Terry Clauss after the 12 week contest

Terry Clauss after the 12 week contest

The inner athlete

Terry always knew she had an athlete inside herself.  She knew she was strong and she liked to workout, but she never got the truth about calories until she found the Venus Index Workout.

Like many of us she only had one half of the equation down; exercise.   We couldn’t understand why when we worked out and built muscle we just looked bulky, hefty, and strong instead of feminine, sleek, and strong.  It’s all about calories (along with a superior workout design).

Terry loves her new look, strong yet feminine.  That is how the Venus Index is designed.  “The focus is proportions and shape (rather than weight loss at all costs or building muscle like a guy)” – John Barban.

Like most of us Terry learned the hard way regarding diet.  After years of trendy diets and good food lists and bad food lists, Terry found the Anything Goes way of eating refreshing. That’s what we do in the Venus Index Community.

As far as food goes you can have everything you want, just not all at once.  You learn to setup your own calorie budget and follow it.  No more depriving yourself of foods you love.  Just learn to eat the right amount for your size.

She is learning to enjoy being fit and have a nice shape without worrying so much about overall weight.

You can wear cute clothes in your 50’s

Ever wonder what it’s like to have the following problem; You are a grandmother shopping in the junior’s section because nothing in the women’s section is small enough to fit you.   Well Terry knows, just ask her how much fun it is.

Clothes shopping and planning for work or social events used to be stressful.  Now it’s fun.  It used to be that nothing looked good or felt good.  Now everything is cute and fun.

This was a big deal to Terry.

The problem used to be nothing fit right, nothing felt right, and nothing was comfortable.  Now the problem is everything fits and you can’t buy the whole section of cute small clothes that all fit and look good.  It’s like you turned into a barbie doll.  It’s just about every woman’s dream.

Like many of us, Terry found her dream in the Venus Index Community.  She said the community is amazing.  Everyone chimed in to answer her questions and give her support.  She learned to love blogging there.

When she didn’t have anything to blog about she read what others wrote and was amazed at the lessons learned.  She is amazed at all the successful transformations and that it is not a bunch of fake advertisements.

These are real women of all ages, from all over the world, achieving their dreams and transforming their lives.

Check out the comparison; The first picture was Terry when she was 60 pounds heavier.  She has lost 41 pounds since she started Venus Index.

The second picture is Terry now.   She has done a fabulous job.  Her hard work and dedication to her health and fitness has paid off!

Terry in Feb 2009 compared to Feb 2013

Terry in February 2009 compared to February 2013. She looks fabulous!

 

Advice from Terry:

 

Read what Terry wrote about her experience with Venus Index:

I began VT6 by doing VI Circuits but then switched back to Phase 2. I think Circuits is a great workout and I will go back to it at some point  … Continue reading here.


Listen to Terry’s interview here, and please “like” it when you’re done:

An Original Venus Who Never Gives Up

Today John talks to Tina Roman who placed sixth in the 6th Venus Index Transformation Contest.

Check out her transformation pictures from the 12 Week Contest:

Tina Roman before pictures

Tina Roman before the contest

Tina Roman after pictures

Tina Roman after the contest

A tenacious original Venus knows how to stick with the program

Tina is one of original women to try out the Venus Index Workout when it first came out.  She has stuck with it since the beginning.

She got an email from Craig Valentine regarding Eat Stop Eat and that is how she found the Venus Index Workout by John Barban.

Like many of us Tina did the yo-yo on a variety of diets finding most of them complicated and unsustainable.  Tina found the biggest key in the Body Centric Eating Manual which is part of the Venus Index.  No one ever told her she was simply eating too much for her size.  She finally learned something that made sense;  the truth about calories.

Life is not fair but she realized that she had to stop eating the same size portions as her husband.  Portion sizes are designed for 6 foot tall men.

Tina really liked the goal setting metrics that are part of the Venus Index program.  This made sense to her.

Mindset is 90% of the battle

Tina had never had a problem with exercise, in fact she worked really hard and couldn’t seem to lose the fat.  She joined several Venus Index transformation contests and found that with each contest she dropped more weight each time.  Tina found most of the battle to be the mental mindset.  The contests and the Venus Index Community helped her get the mindset she needed to succeed.

Tina also found the the unsensored podcasts to be educational and motivational and attributes much of her success to listening to them.  It didn’t take long for her to want “all in” with the Immersion program.  She sees the value of investing in yourself and deciding you are worth it.

Tina's constant commitment to Venus Index brought her this far!

Tina a few months before the first ever Venus Transformation contest compared to finishing her last contest (VT6).  She has done a fantastic job!

Advice from Tina:

 

Read what Tina wrote about her experience with Venus Index:

I was always the thin girl in high school, no more than 100 lbs soaking wet. I started weight training to avoid “girls” gym  … Continue reading here.


Listen to Tina’s interview here, and please “like” it when you’re done:

What Is Maintenance?

Here’s the next episode of the UNCENSORED Podcasts Season 2.

Today’s topic:  Maintenance

What is maintenance?

What is maintenance?

What is maintenance?

The real answer is that you’re never actually just sitting in one spot at the exact same weight, and body fat %. You’re always fluctuating a little bit throughout the day, and throughout the year.

Maintenance is more of a transient state that you can dip in and out of when you you’re not necessarily trying to gain more muscle or burn more fat.

You can ‘hold’ and maintain a certain level of body fat and muscle for a given length of time and then get ready to push it hard again.

The step-wise progression

In all the body transformations I’ve ever seen it’s always a step-wise pattern. This means you will improve for a given amount of time. Then you’ll need to take a break. Once you feel ready you can push forward again. The amount you move forward is dependent on your goals and how hard you expect to push things.

Thinking about maintenance is also about managing expectations and where you expect to go based on the energy you’re putting forward.

Moments of maintenance happen for many reasons including lifestyle factors, seasonal changes, periodic moments of being sick, generalized stress.

For example over the Thanksgiving and Christmas holiday season you may simply set a goal to just make it from November to January without gaining fat mass.

In this case you’re actually working to just maintain, and you’d probably have to consider it a win just to make through the holidays without gaining fat.

Maintenance is a mode you go into throughout the year, and it’s normal to go through phases of muscle growth vs muscle maintenance and fat loss vs maintenance.

In this podcast we discuss what maintenance is, how to define what it is and how often you should expect to be in maintenance mode.

-John 

IMMERSION Clients May Login and Download Podcast Here

Not a Venus Index IMMERSION client? Click here to find out more… and hear a weird story too

Nutrition & Training: Flexible vs. Structured

Here’s the next episode of the UNCENSORED Podcasts Season 2.

Today’s topic: Nutrition & Training: Flexible vs. Structured

Are you a type of person who needs a meal plan for every day or can you handle more loose structured way of eating?

Are you a type of person who needs a meal plan for every day or can you handle more loose structured way of eating?

When it comes to nutrition & training advice, how much structure is best for you?

Our last episode was on optimal vs. practical training and today John Barban & Brad Pilon take this topic a bit further while discussing flexible vs. structured training and diet.

As stated in our last article with the rise of obesity it’s safe to say that an emergency is on our hands when it comes to our health and we must take action.  But what nutrition & training advice should we follow to become consistent obtain successful results?

The information on diet and fitness becomes more and more daunting. From nutritional strategies consisting of: macro/micro nutrients, slow/fast proteins, what foods are good, what foods are bad, and the highly controversial thoughts on meal timing, a person could become easily overwhelmed.

Things aren’t much better on the training side of the house as we are faced with a myriad of factors to take into account. Ranging from: Workout Intensity, Volume, length of actual workouts, and the rest/recovery period.

While some structure is necessary how much structure do you actually need?

At what point does too much structure hinder or stop your progress?

In today’s UNCENSORED training, you will also discover:

  • With consistency, effort, and patience anyone can change their look significantly in one year
  • Why structured metric goals along with a more relaxed approach to diet and fitness makes you successful
  • How to determine the level of structure you need
  • How the structure you need is a continuum
  • How fitness products sell too much structure with goals that are too vague
  • How Top Level athletes follow extremely strict regimes for a specific purpose that is unsustainable to the average person
  • How too much structure and restrained dieting will slow down your progress
  • How there is a minimal amount of structure needed for each individual
  • For diet the first level of of structure should be how much you eat
  • People spend so much time on diet structure that they miss the point that what matters is how much they eat
  • How to manage your diet so that it is less structured
  • How to manage your training so that it is less structured

 

Your Fitness Goals in the New Year, How Bad Do You Want It?

What Is Your Motivation?

As we move into the New Year you might be starting to work on new resolutions or goals.  Will you be one who completes your goals this year?  How bad do you want it?  There is pain and sacrifice to achieve it, but there could be pain if you don’t achieve it.  Recently someone in the Venus Index Community posted this article “What is your Motivation?” and I was intrigued by the author’s use of pain motivation and his figurative “Alpo” as the pain.

I read this right around the US Thanksgiving holiday.   I was actually a bit frustrated on the holiday due to several weeks of social eating events and my jeans no longer fit comfortably.  Rather than have a meltdown I took a deep breath and decided I would not ruin the holiday with my precious husband Randy.  I would come up with a plan to fix the problem the next day.  The following day I decided to take a picture of the several pair of jeans that didn’t fit and place them on the refrigerator and pantry doors.  I also included a smiley face and the words “pain motivation”.  The picture reminded me of how awful I felt when the pants didn’t fit.

Be Kind to Yourself Right Where You Are, Right Now

As I was pondering this I had a thought about struggles and victories; cycles continue, struggle, victory, struggle, and victory. Self-worth issues don’t magically go away when you reach your fitness ideal. The best time to treat your body as the temple of beautiful treasures is right now, while continuing the lifelong seasons of reaching new goals.

Randy kind of frowned at me when I put up the picture in the kitchen because it was negative.  Not only that but he thought I looked perfect the way I was.   I was probably still somewhere around 12% body fat.  Since I tend to be hard on myself I have to be careful with the concept of pain motivation.  Many of my girlfriends tell me they must be careful with this concept as well because of a history of eating disorders that stem from issues of self-worth.  I’ve never had eating disorders or emotional eating issues but like many women I struggle with body image issues.  I have to remember that the images of fitness models in fitness magazines are Photoshopped.

I had to remind myself that even though I wanted to achieve a mini goal of fat loss that I was also okay right where I was.  I was healthy, I looked fit, no one saw the little extra bit of fat except me.  It was up to me to make the choice how far I wanted to take it.  Randy, knowing my personal history, warned me with his frown that he’d better not see me beating myself up over this mini goal.

Be Flexible, It’s Okay to Switch It Up

It only took a few weeks to achieve the goal of fitting into the jeans so I switched my motivator to a more positive pleasure motivator (the photo below with the quote “Nothing tastes as good as FIT feels”).  I still remember how I felt the day of this photo shoot and how ecstatic I was when I saw how the pictures turned out.  I decided to make my own (first ever) motivational poster and use it for myself to continue on with my mini goal.  So far it’s working for me.

I switched to a positive pleasure motivator.

I switched to a positive pleasure motivator.

How Bad Do You Want It

The author talks about moving from a state of “Coulda Shoulda Woulda” to a state of “Must” and that reminded me of when I reached my peak of weight gain in 2009.  My weight topped out at over 170lbs.  Something had to change.  I couldn’t possibly do more fitness so I had to change something else.  I had to change my mental mindset and I decided to simply eat less and cut my portion sizes in half.  As I made progress losing weight I constantly used a symbol in my mind of door #1 and door #2.  Door #1 represented achieving the fitness level I had always wanted.  Door #2 represented everything else, every excuse, and simply staying where I was or worse.

The vision of what was behind door #2 was so painful to me that I felt I had no choice.  I must take door #1 which meant continuing to eat at a calorie deficit.  It didn’t mean I had to deprive myself of food; I simply had to eat the right amount to achieve my goal.  This is the beauty of the Anything Goes Diet, Eat Stop Eat, and the Venus Index principles.  Every day when I wanted to eat more than I needed I simply told myself I could have more tomorrow (door #1).

I realized that I used the pain and pleasure motivators all along; door #1 was painful to go through at times but pleasure was on the other side, and door #2 was more pleasurable to go through but pain was on the other side.  Which did I want?  I chose door #1 just about every day for two years.

This dress was my motivator and my reward for achieving my goal.

This dress was my motivator and my reward for achieving my goal.

I had posted up a catalog picture in the kitchen of a swim dress from an athletic clothing company because I wanted to purchase and wear the dress someday.  The picture was a symbol of my door #1 and I kept it posted in the kitchen for about a year.  I achieved that goal and purchased the dress and wore it to the Caribbean last Christmas.  It was my motivator and my reward.

Positive Motivators Worked for Shannon As Well

My friend Shannon who is a busy working mom and wife struggled all her life with weight fluctuations up and down.   She said the tools that finally helped her nail down her success were the Reverse Taper Diet, the Anything Goes Diet, and the Venus Index Workout metric goals using the “Golden Ratio“.

For motivation Shannon said this:

       My past experiences taught me about several components to successful weight loss:  estimating my daily calories so I can be sure I am in a deficit, following an exercise program that I enjoy, taking measurements to track my progress, and working towards a set of daily goals. 

     The process isn’t all that exciting, but the outcome is!  I have been using a planner and stickers to track several daily goals since before my baby was born, including a sleep goal, a calorie deficit goal, a step goal, and a workout goal.  I get a sticker for hitting each of these daily goals, and I find that the number of goals I hit in a week is strongly correlated with weight loss (or maintenance) success. 

     It’s a simple system, and I can easily see the little wins as they pile up.   I like to think about these daily goals as little gifts I am giving to myself every day that have both short term and long term positive effects.

Shannon’s results motivated her husband to start the Adonis Index program.  I would say positive motivation worked very well for her indeed:

Positive motivators worked for Shannon

Positive motivators worked for Shannon

Experiment and Find What Works for YOU

Motivation is different for each person.  You must first define what you want and set your goal.   Then find what motivates you.  Be flexible and if something isn’t working try something else.  Make sure it’s fun and really does motivate you.  Be kind to yourself at all times.  You can change and adjust your plan any time you want.  That is the beauty of experimentation.  You don’t have to stay stuck in a plan that is not working, causes you anxiety, or ends up being destructive to your self-worth or self-image.  We all make mistakes sometimes and learn from them.

  • Set goals
  • Experiment
  • Find what motivates you
  • Make it fun
  • Be kind to yourself
  • Make it a daily routine
  • Track progress
  • Get support
  • Give yourself rewards
  • Be flexible

It is the Yew Year, 2013.  What are your goals?  How bad do you want it? Make it happen.

Ro

 

How Clear Is Your Purpose?


“A person with a clear purpose will make progress on even the roughest road. A person with no purpose will make no progress even on the smoothest road.” –Thomas Carlyle

Be Ambitious

Part of goal setting is deciding what you want and then having enough ambition to take steps to fulfill your purpose.  People who avoid failure are more focused on protecting themselves from failure or the embarrassment of not completing the steps.  On the other end of the spectrum is over ambition, setting unattainable or highly improbable goals, or trying to take risky short cuts to achieve over aggressive goals.  In the middle are achievers who have a strong desire to accomplish things important or gain success from difficult tasks.   Where do you fall in this spectrum?

In my last article I wrote about moving forward after mistakes.  It’s hard right after making mistakes to keep going.  Sometimes it requires a short period to reflect and regroup.  Being fearful can cause you to procrastinate, give less effort, or even self-sabotage (FYI John Barban talks about self-sabotage in the Anything Goes Diet).

Have you ever found yourself in a diet yo-yo?  If so, you probably have a sabotage point somewhere near the bottom of the yo-yo and this is important to recognize so you can move forward or as John says “instead of backing up go full steam ahead so that you never see that number again”.  I like that.  Full steam ahead!

Sometimes It Takes Longer

Just like anything else in life sometimes things take longer than you’d like.   About 15 years ago I’d gone through the police academy with my husband and applied for a job with the Sheriff’s department the same time he did.  The process to get hired in law enforcement is especially strict in California and only 1 out of 50 pass the full battery of tests.

During the evaluation process at the very end (after five months of testing and extensive background tests) right at the point before they hand you the acceptance letter I learned that I did not pass.   This failure was devastating to me.  I had to regroup and be happy for my husband who did pass and give him my full support for the career he was starting.  I had to accept that the time was not right for me.

Life is not always fair.

As I motored on with my life and retired from my software engineering job I’d realized how far I’d come in dealing with some personal issues.  I had a feeling I’d finally faced enough of the issues that I might pass the law enforcement hiring processes if I tried again.

But my academy certificates had expired and I had to start the police academy again from the very beginning.  This was daunting because the academy is like a mini boot camp chalk full of tests.  If you fail any one test you get one chance for remediation and then if you don’t pass you are kicked out.  This happens even if it’s the last test on the last day of class; all is lost.  Looming overhead after the academy graduation were another six months of hiring tests and still the one testing at the end that could be my sabotage point.

I moved forward, full steam ahead, and graduated from the academy with higher honors compared to the first time through. I faced the interview at the end with the very same doctor that failed me the first time.  It was actually a fun interview and I had a feeling I would pass but I had to wait two weeks until I received the answer.

I passed!

It was a huge victory for me.  It meant I had dealt with some serious issues in my life and won.  I defeated the failure I’d carried around for ten years.   I got the acceptance letter and the honor of wearing the badge and serving my community.  To this day I’m extremely proud when I put on that uniform and strap on all that gear because I know how much I had to overcome to get to that point.

You Can View It as a Challenge

You might have a similar daunting road ahead of you with weight loss or a situation in your life that you want to change.  You can view it as a challenge or a threat that leads to embarrassment of failure.  You can associate effort on the demanding tasks with dedication, commitment, and involvement or view it as overloading and stressful.  The choice for your mindset is yours.

What will you do?

On the other hand you can become over ambitious and set too high a goal or an unrealistic goal.  You might then try to take short cuts to get there.  Some of us do that with eating too low to try and make weight loss happen faster and it ends up backfiring.  Sometimes all you really need to do is practice for a while until you have enough skill to know how to set an appropriate goal for yourself.

You Can Adjust Your Goals

You can always change your goals as you move along.  I changed my goals several times after joining the Venus Index community.  When I started my weight loss journey my only goal was to get down to a size 8 because that was the smallest I’d ever been as an adult.  Then I changed my goals to match the Venus Index “Golden Ratio” metrics.

As I continued to lose weight I got down to a size 2-4 and got frustrated because I could not seem to get my waist down to the golden ideal.

It took me a long time to realize that I really don’t need to worry about it.  I became fit and lean and I have a thick torso because of my years of heavy lifting.  I needed to know that my waist wasn’t fat and the DEXA scan gave me that.   The data showed that the bulk of my 11% body fat is in my arms and upper legs and that my abdominal area was 0% body fat.  So I finally learned to accept the fact that this is how I am, this is the shape of my body, and it is okay.  So I have learned to maintain my shape by looking in the mirror and how my clothes fit.  It’s freedom to not have to rely on the scale or other metrics anymore.

Pick Realistic Goals

I would like to have a thinner waist but it would mean giving up heavy lifting and abdominal work which I love.  For now I choose to maintain right where I am.  At any time in the future I can change my goals again if I want to.  First I would research to find out if it is a realistic goal and then I would take whatever steps are necessary to achieve it.

How Clear Is Your Purpose?

 

Tips for Goal Setting:

  • Decide what you want
  • Start small but keep going
  • Believe in yourself
  • Write down your goals
  • Set small goals and accomplish them
  • Do everything you can to stop procrastinating
  • Dream big
  • Set up your environment for success
  • Set long term goals and short term goals (with realistic time frames)
  • Don’t make a big deal out of each mistake
  • Research to find out if your goal is attainable
  • Adjust goals as needed
  • Get the right tools
  • Enjoy the journey
  • Plan ahead
  • Ask advice from people you respect (even if you don’t like them)
  • Give yourself rewards for achievements (not food)

 

Clarify your goals

It’s important to know where you operate in the ambition spectrum so you can make necessary changes. If you are over ambitious what steps do you need to take?

If you procrastinate or self-sabotage what steps do you need to take?  Is your goal realistic?  These are things you can think about as you move forward in your journey. You can adjust your goals as you move along.

Once you set your goals, determine the steps you need to take, have fun and enjoy the journey.

 

It is never too late to follow your dreams!

-Ro

Falling Forward: Turning Mistakes into Success

Don’t dwell on what went wrong. Instead, focus on what to do next. Spend your energies on moving forward toward finding the answer. -Denis Waitley

The hardest part about mistakes is to keep moving forward but that is what you must do.  Everyone makes mistakes but if you keep moving forward the mistake will soon be behind you.  Have you ever made a mistake at a new job?

I currently work as a volunteer patrol deputy for our local Sheriff’s department.  I had spent 25 years prior working for a corporate high tech company and then decided to go through the police academy and volunteer for the community in a unique way.

The environment at a law enforcement agency is vastly different from the corporate company I was used to.  Yes, I made mistakes.  It’s hard on the ego when you get called on the pad and into the Lieutenant’s office.  Part of me wanted to quit and say this is just not for me.  But when you keep moving forward you can sometimes become better for having made the mistake.  The best thing to do is own up to it and face whatever consequences come with it and continue to do your best.

Because of what I learned from that mistake I’m now in a position to help coach others on how to avoid that particular mistake should the opportunity arise.  Can you think of ways that you became better because of mistakes you have made?

As I lost 60 pounds I chose to move forward even when I made mistakes at work as well as on my weight loss journey.

The Sheriff gives a speech every year at our official swearing in ceremony.  Because consequences can be severe for mistakes made in law enforcement he always talks about the concept of owning up to mistakes and moving on.  He has an awesome sense of humor and a fun personality, but he shows us his serious side when he talks about consequences in our work mistakes.

The other option is to stop, freeze, or quit.  If you stop moving forward and are worried about making more mistakes you will never progress.  Every successful person has made mistakes and know they will make mistakes again.  They don’t live in fear of mistakes.

My friend April and I share some of the exact same mistakes regarding motherhood.  Sometimes this gives us a special bond with a friend and helps us deal with residual guilt and healing.  For women especially there is a certain amount of guilt we all feel about not being perfect mothers for our kids.   Whether it is simply a matter of raising the children, sharing custody, adoption, congenital medical issues or children’s health issues, whatever is the circumstance these all cause very deep emotional issues for women.

Because of what happened in April’s situation she lost a lot of weight and became very thin, then did the yo-yo in the opposite direction and gained a lot of weight and started down the path of an emotional eating disorder.

April believes that the reeling torment on the inside was being reflected on the outside (manifested in her yo-yo body weight), and that she was punishing herself for the guilt she felt.

April finally decided to take a step forward when she joined the Venus Index Community.  She owned up to her mistakes with eating along with the other mistakes.  She allowed herself to be accepted into a community of women who understood and treated her warmly and with respect.  April said this has helped her get her body right and get through some rough times.  This is helping her get her mind right as well. April learned that sometimes getting support means you have to give it order to get it.

April wants to learn to forgive herself for not being perfect for her son.  She shares a unique story where she is the birth mother and she shares a special bond with Rebecca Bennett.  April wants to be a Venus both inside and out.  I think she is well on her way and moving forward now.

As we start out on our weight loss journey full of hope, new tools, new books to read, and new workouts we must remember to forgive ourselves from the mistakes that we will make.  We must learn to keep moving forward, or falling forward, or leaping forward, anything but staying frozen in fear of mistakes.

Whether the mistakes are at a job or school, or on your weight loss journey you can move forward and learn to overcome adversity.   Do you have trouble getting over a sabotage point; have anxiety with food choices, or food addictions?  These can all be overcome; you can learn a new way to eat regardless of your situation.  Are you afraid of the gym or are you afraid to lift heavy?  This too can be overcome with a winning mindset.

 

April chooses to leap forward from her mistakes. You can make this choice too.

What about you? Will you learn from your mistakes and keep moving, or will you let mistakes control you?

It is your choice.

-Ro

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