Just Say No to Guilt and Shame For Eating!

 

Randy's watched me go through the whole gamut of emotions; frustration, panic, sense of urgency, impatience, shame, guilt, happy excitement, insecurity, then confidence.  Even at my worst and obese he always called me his lovely wife.  Here we are in Rome, Italy.

Randy’s watched me go through the whole gamut of emotions; frustration, panic, sense of urgency, impatience, shame, guilt, happy excitement, insecurity, then confidence. Even at my worst and obese he always called me his lovely wife. Here we are in Rome, Italy.

It’s easier said than done!

This is all so much easier said than done.  I’ve been there too so I know.

We all test our boundaries with calories both up and down.  It’s never the end of the world.  Really!  It’s simply part of the learning process.

Always your body is the end game.  Not the calculator, not the chart, not the theory, not what the fitness guru said or did, not what works for someone else, and certainly not what someone else tells you to do.

I am not hungry.  Do I have to eat up to my maintenance calorie level?

I see a lot of comments and questions from those new to this process:

I am not hungry.  Do I have to eat up to my maintenance calorie level?

No one around here is going to tell you that you have to eat when you are not hungry.  You own this.  You get to decide.  Part of the freedom of our program is that you take ownership of what you put in your body.  We don’t tell you when to eat, what to eat, or how much to eat.  You get to own it now.  The calorie calculator is just a starting point for you to start your own experiment from.  It’s a suggestion.  It’s a starting point.  It’s an estimate (actually a very close and accurate estimate – but still an estimate).  Ultimately you get to decide.  The answer is in your own body.  Your body really is the end game.

This is hard for many to get used to because we got so used to the years of yo-yo diets and people telling us about good foods and bad foods.

Taking corrective action is not how you are meant to live life!

For many people when there is still a lot of body fat and even though you have yo-yoed all over the map with diets – you actually can eat at a fairly aggressive deficit – if you haven’t already had a history of doing so – and feel perfectly fine.

It can be kind of fun. You think wow this isn’t so bad.  You get used to it.  You adjust to it.  You get so happy that the scale is going down that you don’t want to stop.  You sort of get addicted to seeing the scale go down.  Then you feel guilty for eating up to maintenance.  Or you don’t feel hungry and don’t feel like doing it.  Or you are afraid of gaining weight.  Usually it’s a combination of all these things.

At some point you need to stop the deficit or take a break.  It is corrective action for a health problem and it is not how you are meant to live your life.

If you eat too low for too long you and keep doing it you will crash and binge.  No one is immune from that.  It’s happened to me a couple of times and I learned from it.  It’s not the end of the world.  You learn and you move on.  And if you love your body and want to take care of it you break this cycle right away – the eat low – binge – beat self-up/guilt/shame – eat low – binge cycle is not healthy for the mind, body, or spirit.

It’s something you learn – the sooner the better

Then you learn to eat up just a little.  Not over eat, just normal eating for you.  You should not feel guilt for this, or fear, but we all go through a phase of this after we lose weight.

We have fear of gaining it back.  But really, we all test this boundary too.  If we eat a little too much the weight creeps up a bit.  No big deal.  We learn and we take corrective action (not fun!  Never is!) And it’s really not the end of the world either.  In fact it’s part of the maintenance cycle.

You never reach your goal and just stay there – we all have these little mini cycles to deal with for the rest of our life.  The more you do this – the more you learn your boundaries.  It’s never the end of the world – but sometimes the emotions get out of hand and you panic.  Don’t panic.  Take a deep breath and do what needs to be done.  It’s really not that big a deal.  Learn and move on. Take care of that precious body.

It’s recovery from the stress

Maintenance “eat up” days are recovery days from the calorie deficit.  They are just like rest days from your workouts.  It gives you a chance to recover and rest from the deficit.  This is important for your sustainable fat loss.

It’s training for your new life

We all flounder when we achieve our fat loss goal.  We pinch ourselves and feel like we are in a dream.  We float on compliments.  We feel like impostors in our own bodies.  It takes a while for our mind to catch up to our body.  We also have fear of losing our success.   We fear eating.  Yet if we had taken little maintenance “eat up” breaks we would already have learned that there is nothing to fear.  We would have already trained ourselves for this stage of the game.  Taking a break from the deficit truly is “training” for the day that will come – when you reach success.  It will help you keep your success and it will help reduce some of your “floundering” with your new self and your new life.

Taking ownership is freedom!

I love the freedom.  Eat what you want, when you want, you get to decide.  You own your body.  You own what you put into it.  You own the consequences.

When I first learned this I was amazed at how it made me feel.  Never again will I allow someone to tell me to eat when I don’t want to.  If I go to a birthday party and decide I don’t want cake – no one can make me eat it.  But if I want some cake that is my choice too!  Total freedom.  Total ownership.

We will not tell you when to eat more either.  You get to decide.  You get to learn the lessons.  You get to test the limits for yourself.  But those of us who have been there and done that will at least give you this information so that you can make the best choice for yourself.  It’s still your choice.

I know it’s hard but stop the guilt and stop the shame.  Let yourself learn your limits.  Know that your body is the end game.  When you eat too much it stores fat.  When you eat the right amount it mostly stays the same.  When you actually learn to have a slight deficit you can maintain a short cycle of fat loss.

I know it’s hard to take the emotions out of it, and the sense of urgency and fear.  But those are never going to make things happen faster. The body adjusts in its own way, its own time – and likes to have love and care.

So this is just a quick note to remind you to just say no to guilt or shame from eating.  Every day is a perfect day to make good choices.  And whatever you choose – it is probably not the end of the world!

Have a great weekend!

-Ro

How to ENTER The Venus Transformation Contests.

How would you like to achieve the same success as these previous Venus Transformation contest winners?

How would you like to achieve the same success as these previous Venus Transformation contest winners? You definitely can do it too – at any age!

How to ENTER a Venus Transformation Contest:

We will accept contest entries any time during the 12 week window.  There is no deadline except both the before and after pictures must be entered during that window.  That is all.  Pretty simple right?  We want this to be as stress free as possible and for you to have FUN.

Obviously the bigger the window you create for yourself the better chance you have for making the biggest change.

Please follow the instructions on this page. The newspaper front page picture must be taken during the same photo session as your pictures.

PLEASE READ THE CONTEST INSTRUCTIONS, RULES, AND REGULATIONS.  The only confirmation email you will get is the automated response from the contest tracker entry form.  The email address for YOU is the one you use for your Venus account.

Click here –> Contest instructions, rules, and regulations <– Click here

 

 

Here are the steps to enter:

1)      Login using your Venus login online Venus account

      Then use the BLUE JOIN BUTTON for the contest during the dates listed:

contest screen shot

 

 

Please carefully read the contest instructions before you enter the contest.

You will receive an automated email from the tracker tool after the pictures have uploaded.  This means YOU ARE IN the contest.  So it’s time to hit the gym (even it’s at home!) and follow your nutrition plan.  Make this happen!

See the results of our previous contests.

The Venus 12 week contest is an En Route Train Stop in your life long Venus journey!

Have fun!

Coach Roberta

PS Email me if you have any problems or questions entering the contests.  roberta.saum@gmail.com

 

Environmental Influences; Uncensored Podcast with John and Brad

 

Naomi is one of the first Venus Transformation Contest winners.  She learned to deal with the environmental influences during and after her transformation.  Today she still maintains the golden lifestyle.

Naomi is one of the first Venus Transformation Contest winners. She learned to deal with the environmental influences during and after her transformation. Today, several years later, she still maintains the golden lifestyle.

Your location and context are important to your success

People around you have a lot of influence in what you do.

Where you are is very important.

Who you are with is very important.

Are you at the gym?

Are you with people who encourage or discourage positive workout behavior?

Interaction with others to fit in with the group will affect your decisions.

Persecution regarding food is not about you. They are projecting their issues and insecurities on you.  The very fact that you are thinking about what you eat and consume is threatening to some people.

Don’t let your best friends issue with her mother dictate to you what to eat.

Negative comments are always really people making comments about themselves and their issues, not YOU.  The guy or gal on Facebook who says “Too much muscle!” or “Too skinny!” or whatever, it is really not about you.

You will get a lot of negative comments during your corrective action phase

“The correction” or corrective phase is what most will be commenting on.  This is the phase that requires serious effort – and is only necessary for the weight loss.  The extreme corrective action is not forever.

 It is not sustainable or you would go down to zero percent body fat.  At some point it must stop, because it’s corrective action.

Maintaining is less extreme than the “correction”.   When you maintain you only need very short temporary corrective action for minor fat gains and reigning in eating habits back to a maintenance level.

Online writing is biased

Everyone has their issues.  It comes through in their writing. There is bias.  There are very few experts.  They explain to you their perspective as if everyone was like them. 

So it’s not just friends, family, and people around you, it’s also the fitness writers online.  Even the researchers; they have a hope or bias that the outcome or answer will turn a certain way. They are trying to convince you that their issues are your issues.

Your life will change as you gain success

 

 All of your relationships will change as you gain success and reach your goals.  People will need to adjust to the new transformed person you have become.  Some people are able to adjust, and some are not.  You will have to make decisions and evaluate all of your relationships.

You will be affected by jealousy and others who want your success.  This is what happens with any success.  The more success you have, the more your relationships all around you will change.

So the bottom line is that who you spend time with in your life as well as online will all affect your success.  They will also affect how well you keep your success.

 

To hear more about what John and Brad have to say about environmental influences listen to today’s uncensored podcast click on the link below.

IMMERSION Clients May Login and Download Podcast Here

Not a Venus Index IMMERSION client? Click here to find out more…

 

 

What About Gut Bacteria and Weight Loss? Uncensored Podcast

Kimberley is one of our many veteran "Every Day Venus" women who maintain the lifestyle ongoing.  Much of her success comes from eating healthy for her own personal health issues and paying attention to the reactions in her own body and how specific foods make her feel.

Kimberley is one of our many veteran “Every Day Venus” women who maintain the Venus lifestyle . Much of her success comes from eating healthy for her own personal health issues.   She pays attention to the reactions in her own body and how specific foods make her feel.

 

First of all, Merry Christmas to all of you who celebrate this holiday today!  For you this is a day of feast and celebration meant for you to enjoy with your family and friends, so ENJOY!  If you have weight loss goals just have fun today and get back on track with your normal routine as soon as you can after the holiday.

 

What about gut bacteria and weight loss?

John and Brad have been researching this subject and found:

  • The classic nutrition model:  Feed the machine, done.
  • The new model:  Feed the machine that feeds or feed the micro machines that feed you -you being the macro machine.

Most of us know that probiotics are good for you and make you feel better. Antibiotics can kill good bacteria and probiotics help build the good bacteria back up.

Within your intestines there 10 times as many bacteria cells as your body cells.  This is a very big part of your body, so it makes sense that this is important.

In order to appreciate the importance of the bacteria it is crucial to know they are a fundamental part of your body.  They influence hormones, how you feel, and are very much a part of who you are. 

Recent research pointed out that obese vs lean people have very different bacteria population within their bodies.

The bacterium changes your ability to metabolize certain foods. 

Right now John and Brad are spending some time to find out if there is a better way to use this information to help you lose weight more successfully.  They have found that there seems to be a link to this and those who have been the most successful at using the Venus system.

Kimberley has been very successful at maintaining her Venus shape.  She eats very healthy according to her own needs and health issues and is an expert at paying attention to how specific foods make her feel.

I have a rotating list of 1000 friends on My Fitness Pal (because that is their limit), some of who watch what I eat. I quite often get the question “Hey, if what you eat doesn’t matter for weight loss why do you eat so healthy?”

My answer has always been because it makes me feel good and perform well at the gym.  It also helps me sleep better and perform all of my daily responsibilities and maintain a cheerful outlook on life.  I take all of these things into account with everything I do regarding health and fitness.  At 53 years old now I am constantly thinking about my long term health and having the best quality of life for as long as I can.

What about you?  Do you think about what you eat and how it makes you feel and your ability to perform for all that you do every day?

I wish everyone a happy holiday and New Year!

-Ro

 

To hear more about what John and Brad have to say about gut bacteria and how it effects weight loss click on the link below.

IMMERSION Clients May Login and Download Podcast Here

Not a Venus Index IMMERSION client? Click here to find out more…

Need To Lose Weight? Don’t Panic.

The Venus Factor has a team of people ready to help you.

The Venus Factor has a team of people ready to help you.

Need to lose weight? Don’t panic.

We have a lot of new people coming in and we are very excited to help you achieve your goals. For some the process seems a bit overwhelming and with it there comes a sense of panic.  Everyone comes from different backgrounds; some have never lifted weights, some have never realized what a calorie deficit is, some have a history of yo-yo dieting, and the list goes on.

If you feel a panic over it coming on, take a deep breath, then another.  The process does not happen quickly.  There is time.  There is never any reason to panic over diet and fitness.  None of it happens overnight.  Health problems or wanting it fixed instantly promote an emotional sense of urgency, but it will not happen instantly no matter how much you want it to. So just relax, let your body adjust to a new lifestyle slowly, and take it one step at a time.

You don’t have to understand everything to get started, sometimes it’s a matter of picking one thing.

Pick one thing

If you are a member of Brad Pilon’s Eat Stop Eat community he emailed this “Pick one thing” message recently and posted it today on his blog:

From Brad Pilon

You see, I think people try to do too much when they want to lose weight. And, when you try to do too much, you end up focusing on the wrong things…

The end result is lots of stress and lots of thinking, but little to no-weight loss.

So you need to find your ONE thing.

When I put this all together I realize my ONE thing is to remember to eat like a grown-up – to realize that I have complete control over when and what I eat, and when and what I don’t eat. So it is my responsibility to eat like a grown-up. No one is going to do it for me.

Sounds simple, probably too simple, but that’s the point. You really need to boil down your ONE thing until you get to your true ONE thing.

If I remember to ‘eat like a grown-up’ on the days I’m not fasting, then I’ve completed my ONE thing. The more days I accomplish this, the closer I will move to my goal.

If I complete my ONE thing, then I’m on track. If I do a dozen other things, but NOT my ONE thing, then even though I did much more work, I probably did not move any closer to my goal.

This sounds simple, but it takes some introspection to really figure out your ONE thing.

And simply saying ‘lose weight’ doesn’t cut it, you have to boil it down to the core. The same goes with saying ‘eat less’ or even ‘exercise more’ it needs to be more meaningful to you.

When you get some free time today give it a try – Pick your goal, then start boiling it down until you come to your ONE thing that you can use to guide your daily activities.

 

So if you are new to the process you might need to pick one thing and then totally own it before you pick the next thing.  That is always the best way to change your lifestyle and habits.  Gradually.  Never so much that it’s just too much and not sustainable.

Be ready to change and pick daily rituals to help you stay on track.  Sometimes I like to put stickers or use colored pens and pencils on a wall calendar so I can see the long streaks of success. I like bright pens and stickers with sparkles.

It’s normal to not be perfect every day, we are all merely human after all.  What matters is long streaks of consistency day in and day out.  There is nothing really dramatic about the process, it’s just small decisions every day while you live your life.

Your rate of change will be unique

The rate of change for you, both building muscle and losing fat, will be your own rate. Never compare the rate of change for yourself to the rate that occurs for others. There are far too many factors and differences between each of us to make many comparisons.  If someone lost a lot of body weight in one or two weeks, that has absolutely no bearing on your own success.

The body weight scale is only good for a trend over time. It does not tell you how much water or glycogen is stored or released. Even Brad learned in his recent 7 week experiment that body weight fluctuations can be quite random and mysterious.

About the only thing we all have in common is we need to have a calorie deficit to lose fat, and we need to lift heavy things to build muscle.

Brad lost body weight on daily measurements for no apparent reason and also gained weight for no apparent reason.  Not only is the sudden random increase in body weight due to water retention fairly meaningless, but so are some of the sudden “whooshes” as we like to call them. We jump for joy when we get a whoosh and then beat ourselves up when we have a random gain.  Do not let the body weight scale define your happiness.  Instead find joy in a successful streak of consistency or other non scale victories.  Rejoice in the trend over time, and the successful lifestyle changes.

There is a delay in seeing results.  Always a delay.  There is no instant gratification in this process.  It takes patience and persistence.

I give myself three weeks for change.  Sometimes it happens sooner but I find allowing that delay and focusing on the process keeps me on track.  I don’t use the body weight scale anymore and I find the process still works if you look at the scale or not.

For me a delay seems to happen even if I have a few days of holiday eating (eating a bit more than my maintenance level).  I’ve seen it happen this way several times this year.  A week or two after “eating up” and I feel thicker and my pants feel just a bit tighter, even though I’ve started the process immediately after the holiday.  So then I give myself three more weeks and keep my focus on the process.  If I’m consistent the results come just as I expected.

Your body is the end game

No matter what creates results for someone else remember that your own body is the end game. What matters is what works for you.  What matters is what you eat that makes you feel and perform your best and achieve your own results.  What matters is the amount you eat that causes you to lose fat consistently. Calorie calculators, charts, books, theories, and what others do don’t matter because your own body is the end game.  Take the time to experiment and find what works for you. Try the estimate the calculator gives you, then adjust.  Try method’s and entertain theories, then adjust.

What you eat matters more than you might think. Everyone has different needs and enjoys different foods. We all have some foods that don’t make us feel good.  You have to find what foods are best for you and that sometimes takes some experimenting.

If you are an immersion customer take advantage of listening to the uncensored podcasts and John’s coaching calls.  We have some exciting podcasts coming up. John and Brad are constantly researching new material as it’s released. In next week’s podcast they will talk about how different foods may help some people lose weight and feel better.

When it comes to food, diet, and exercise what works for you changes over time, with the seasons of your life.  I finally realized recently when I was meeting with John, Brad Howard, and a few of the Venus girls in Boise, Idaho (yeah it was freezing there!) that I no longer metabolize wine very well.

Some of you who are in the Venus online community may have read what Carla and Liss wrote about our little meetup in the community blogs.

I was the last one to the meeting and missed dinner.  My experiment with desserts and a glass of wine as a dinner replacement didn't go so well. Experiments help you learn what works for you.

I was the last one to arrive at the meeting and missed dinner. My experiment with desserts and a glass of wine as a dinner replacement didn’t go so well. Experiments help you learn what works for you.

 

Two out of the three nights when I drank wine, even one glass, I was awake half the night.  I don’t know about you but when I only get 4 hours of sleep my hunger the next day is through the roof.  For me the stress is so bad that maintaining any sort of calorie deficit is nearly impossible, in fact eating just slightly above maintenance is considered a win.  I used to be able to drink wine.  Now I can’t.  Possibly because my body is not used to it anymore.  Your body changes over time, and long term lifestyle changes might cause changes you hadn’t thought of.

So if you are new around here remember your body is the end game, not the chart, calculator, book, theory, what someone tells you to do, or what works for someone else. Take a deep breath and take time to learn. Ask questions and get support.  Pick one thing.

We have a team of people who want to help you achieve your goals.

-Ro

 

Questioning Metabolism

Jenny Weaks is one of our contest winners who knows how to walk the line; pushing hard with nutrition and workouts yet allowing the body to recover so she can keep a healthy metabolism.

Jenny Weaks is one of our contest winners who knows how to walk the line; pushing hard with nutrition and workouts yet allowing her body to recover so she can keep a healthy metabolism.

What is metabolism?

 It’s a vague term.  It is the sum total of the various chemical functions in our body, not the calorie cost of those functions because that’s your metabolic rate, but your metabolism is actually how are all those functions working and are they working properly?   Most people are actually interested in their metabolic rate.

There are many different ways to measure this and the outcome will be different for each method, but at the end of the day it doesn’t really give you what you need to make a change to your body.

Generally people think that a higher metabolism is better or that a higher metabolism feels more energetic.  In fact people can’t really even feel metabolism.  

What you really want is a healthy metabolism. 

Mainly all you need to do is avoid exhaustion and systematic fatigue.

People push themselves too hard with both a calorie deficit and exercise, get fatigued, and then blame their metabolism.  What they really need to do is stop pushing so hard without giving their body a chance to recover.

Don’t try to make too much happen too soon.

Exhaustion is in your control, metabolic rate is not.

To hear more about what John and Brad have to say about metabolism and metabolic rate click on the link below.

IMMERSION Clients May Login and Download Podcast Here

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  paperopus.com

Questioning Body Fat Percentage

Caroline and Tori are fitness competitors who both got in amazing shape and hit their Venus ratio's. Both had 23 and 24 percent body fat in their legs yet 5-7% in their upper body.  The main thing here is everyone depending on their genetics and heredity will compartmentalize fat differently on their body.

Caroline and Tori are fitness competitors who both got in amazing shape and hit their Venus ratio’s. Both had 23-24% body fat in their legs yet 5-7% in their upper body. The main thing here is everyone, depending on their genetics and heredity, will compartmentalize fat differently on their body. You can’t compare yourself to others.

What is so important about body fat percentage?

Hydrostatic body fat percentage is the gold standard.  It is the method which every other method is calibrated on.  There are no assumptions; they use just the properties of your body in the water.

What is so important about of your body fat percentage?  It’s a number.

It reminds Brad of eating for calories when you need to lose weight when really you just need to eat the right amount of food to lose weight.  People like to go to an online calculator and find out they are supposed to eat 2712 calories a day as an example, then they don’t lose weight and they think their metabolism is broken.  The calculator just gave them the wrong estimate for their body.  People forget that the body is the end game, not the calculator, chart, book, theory, or what someone else did to lose weight.

The total over all body fat percentage does not tell you a whole lot unless you reach a dramatically low percentage that it is irrelevant.   It’s just like how your overall body weight on the scale doesn’t tell you a whole lot either.

DEXA/DXA is the most accurate and is the key for a health standpoint because it tells you regional fat percentages.

Everyone stores fat differently

Brad and John have a lot of data to look at and today they focused on two female fitness competitors who were both approximately 15% body fat which is very low for females.   This is dramatically low for a woman.   One of them had 6.9% in her trunk (her upper body from the waist up).  The other one had below 5% in her trunk (she had a full set of shredded abs and her back was totally visible). 

Tori and Caroline are fitness competitors that places first and third in their respective categories so they were both in amazing shape.  Neither of them looked awkward, they both looked totally feminine.

Both had 23 and 24 percent body fat in their legs.  See the difference between the upper and lower body?  The main thing here is everyone depending on their genetics and heredity will compartmentalize fat differently on their body.

So another female could have 20% in her legs, but maybe 11% in her upper body, and roughly the same overall body fat percentage as Tory and Caroline and look totally different.  If she tries to compare herself to these fitness competitors (or anyone else for that matter) at the same overall body fat it totally falls apart. 

Everyone stores body fat in different patterns.  These storage patterns are genetic and you cannot manipulate them.  There are some schools of thought that you can manipulate them with diet but there is no data or measurements that prove this theory.  The theories are purely anecdotal and guess work. 

Don’t let body fat measurements hijack your goals

Setting a goal as a percentage body fat can mess you up.  It is a form of goal hijacking.

If you get down to your golden ratio and then would need to go a lot leaner to get the ab definition it could change your overall aesthetic to not be as visually appealing.  Also total body fat percentage is totally dependent on how much muscle mass is there.  Body fat is relative to your lean body mass.  So if you increase your lean body mass without losing any fat your overall body fat % drops.

Body weight and body fat percentage is only useful if you have a “shape” to go with it or a measurable goal like Venus or Adonis Ideal or Ratio.

 

What is your goal?

What is your goal?  To get to a certain size?  A certain weight?  For some of us it was to simply leave our obesity behind, become healthy and functional, have the ability to walk or hike with loved ones, and enjoy a better quality of life and not necessarily become a bikini model.

When I first joined the Venus Factor my goal was to get down to a size 8 which was the smallest size I’d ever been as an adult.  The goal setting in the Venus Factor program enabled me to exceed that by several sizes.  In fact I had no idea how lean I got until I had a hydrostatic body fat test which showed I’d gotten down to 10.5% overall body fat (I am 5’1″ and I was 116 pounds).

It was good that I had the test at that time because it helped me to understand that I needed to increase my food intake and give up trying for the Venus Ideal waist.  I didn’t realize that I was an outlier yet.  I had no idea what I had achieved.

 

I was trying to get down to my Venus Ideal waist and didn't realize that at 10.5% overall body fat there was no where left to go, nothing else left to lose.

I was trying to get down to my Venus Ideal waist and didn’t realize that at 10.5% overall body fat there was no where left to go, nothing else left to lose.  On the right I was at 11.5% at the time of my DXA scan.  With unusually high LBM for my height getting to my Venus Ideal waist is not a realistic goal for me, and that is okay, I get to work with the genetic hand I’m dealt.

 

I’d gotten down to probably slightly below 10% overall body fat for my Venus Transformation VT4 photos (at 109 pounds.)  This was the only time ever that I got to my Venus Ideal waist, for a mere moment in time.

A year later I had a DXA scan which showed that I’d gone up to 11.5% overall body fat with 105 pounds of lean body mass. My Android fat was 5% (.4 pounds) and my Gynoid was 16.8%, so like Tori and Caroline my legs were significantly higher compared to my upper body.

As John said this is typical for females. I was 51.5 years old at the time of the DXA (over a year ago) and because of my age I might have lower estrogen levels.  My hormone panel shows normal levels but I’m clearly in the season of my life where estrogen levels start waning. This may make it more possible to gain muscle and get to a lower body fat for females later in life.

I was very proud of the fact that DXA showed my Visceral Adipose Tissue (VAT) at .06 pounds!  From a health standpoint this is really good, although it’s probably not necessary to be that low.

 

How do body fat tests help you learn to maintain fitness?

I’ve lived my life for several years now floating 12-13% overall body fat and sometimes up to possibly 14-15% (just a guess).  The body fat tests were good for giving me a health marker and a rough idea about where I’m at depending on how my clothes fit.

I find tremendous freedom in no longer needing the body weight scale.  I know how my clothes fit and if I need to slim down just a bit I know how much to eat to make that happen, nothing else is really needed for me to maintain (except to keep up with training!)

My body fat level is unique to me.  It doesn’t make me better or worse than anyone else and shouldn’t be used as a comparison. It doesn’t mean anything to me but a health marker and a bench mark that goes with my pictures and my look and shape at that level.  That said, I’m learning to feel good about myself even when I don’t live my life at that 10% benchmark and can move up a little in body fat and not be too hard on myself.

By listening to podcasts like this today I learn more about my body.  This helped me to feel good about what I’ve achieved.  I am still maturing in my fitness life and will continue to constantly learn.  Listening to Leigh Peele podcasts are also helping me learn about my body and my fitness level as I mature in this process.

 

What happens when you get close to your Venus Ideal goal?

If you are following the Venus Factor System you will find that you will learn more once you get closer to your goal.  The goal setting in this program is a perfect place to start and will allow you to achieve exactly what you want and most likely exceed your expectations for yourself.

Some ladies get very close to the ideal and say this is close enough, they’ve achieved what they wanted, now they just want to enjoy life and keep what they’ve achieved.  And they go on to do exactly that.  It is great.  It fits their lifestyle and they move on.

Others will reach the Venus Ideal at a much higher body fat than I did, and that is perfect.  I kind of envy women with that genetic hand.  Sometimes if they try to go lower in body fat to get “ripped abs” or whatever it won’t look as good because they go beyond the Venus Ideal.  The Venus Ideal is based on what the human eye finds the most pleasing, and that is why the formula is used in art.

Other women will find they build muscle fairly easily because of their genetics and so will also likely reach a lower body fat level if they keep going with the fat loss.  Denise and I are in this category.  We live our day to day life with our waist circumference slightly above the Venus Ideal (or like me several inches above) and it’s just as good as those who get to live exactly at the ideal with more body fat.  Neither is better or worse, it just is what it is.

It is just as well and okay for women who find living slightly above the ideal ratio at a higher yet still quite healthy body fat level. After all it’s about being healthy, functional, having a better quality of life, and enjoying more time with your loved ones.

What matters is what makes YOU happy and healthy.  Once again, you, your body, and your life are the end game; not the system, program, workout, diet protocol, theory, ideal metrics, book, chart, calculator, or what someone else says or does.  You get to decide what makes you happy and all these tools can help you get to that point.

It really all depends on the genetic hand you are dealt.  You won’t know what you have until you lose enough fat.  The best way to lose significant fat is to divide and conquer while also weight training to the best of your ability.  The Venus Factor workouts are the best I’ve found for my build and have enabled me to reach my genetic potential in a way that at least my husband and friends around me say is still pleasing to the eye and still feminine yet strong.

What will you do to achieve your best genetic potential that fits your life?  I would love to hear about it.

-Ro

 

 

Find out what John and Brad have to say about questioning body fat percentage:

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Why “Eat More to Lose Fat” Is an Oxymoron

Like many other tiny females Kiya learned to ignore the many myths regarding calorie intake and use her own body as the end game.

Like many other tiny females Kiya learned to ignore the many myths regarding calorie intake and use her own body as the end game.

Have you ever thought you had broken metabolism?

Have you ever thought you were broken or that your metabolism was broken because it seemed like all the hard work you put in to lose weight didn’t work?

I did.  So did Kiya, and so did many other women in our community who finally found success with weight loss was finding the correct calorie deficit for their own body.

We found that it was not what a calculator said, not what a nutritionist said, not what a personal trainer said, not what a fitness competitor or body builder said, and not what someone else with an anecdotal story about what worked for them said.

I thought my low thyroid, low progesterone, low adrenal function, older age, and various menopausal issues were the cause for my being overweight (and obese).  They certainly were obstacles for me but they ended up not being the cause.

I thought the prescriptions my doctor gave me for those issues would be the magic pill.  No, for me the cure was just eating less for my small 5’ 1” frame.  Yes the prescriptions helped my health issues, but I still had to work and create a calorie deficit to lose the excess fat.

A calorie deficit is not fun for anyone.  If you have too much stress it’s nearly impossible. Sometimes you just have to be patient and wait for the right season for the deficit to work for you.

If you think you have things wrong with your hormone levels of course go to your doctor and get them checked out.

It is the intake of excess food that causes you to store fat.  The only thing that will make you lose fat is a caloric deficit.  Once I embraced that concept things started clicking for me.

What about “eat up” days?

I lost 60 pounds just eating smaller portions on dessert plates and I did not need to track or count calories, but now I have to be more meticulous, especially when I’m serious about my results.  I might need to track and measure sometimes.  It is especially important for troubleshooting fat loss problems.

As a tiny female it’s always bugged me when people online who don’t know anything about me, not even my height, said “You don’t eat enough”, “You are in starvation mode if you eat under 1200 calories” and “You must eat more to lose weight”.   I’d think “Really, do you see how often I kill it at the gym on 1200 calories or less?”  I don’t think a person in starvation mode kills it at the gym very often.

I’ve seen these people who say things like this derail the efforts of hundreds of other small females like myself.

To say “eat more to lose fat” is an oxymoron.

Not that a slight increase in calories isn’t appropriate at times.  We have a built in “eat up” to maintenance days in our “12 week Undulating Metabolic Override Program” to help keep leptin levels up and prevent “crashing”.

Having “eat up” maintenance days are useful for preventing a crash and keeping hormone levels stable, but the simple “eat more” advice is confusing and may be inappropriate for a smaller person who really wants to be in a calorie deficit.

It can be an excuse for some people to overeat or give up on fat loss.

Maintenance days are not “cheat days”; they are normal eating days.  For some of us smaller people a normal eating day may only be 100-300 calories more than a deficit day.  To simply say “eat more” is a huge disservice to us.

I wish they would qualify the “eat more” mantra to say “If you have too low of a calorie deficit and crash and binge, then eat up to maintenance more often to prevent crashing.”  That would be a more accurate statement. But even so, it is actually the binge eating and “inaccurate mental accounting” for calories that stall fat loss.  Both of those are already “eating more” thus simply saying “eat more” exasperates the problem.

If the person is truly not losing fat then they are not in a calorie deficit to begin with, so telling them to eat more will only make the problem worse.  The person needs to accurately and methodically troubleshoot the problem regarding food intake.  Most of the time there is some inaccurate “mental accounting” or misconception of actual food intake that needs to be solved that does not likely involve the simple “eat more” mantra.

Eating up or eating at maintenance should be done as often and as long as necessary to keep yourself sane and healthy.  Leigh Peele has helped me solidify this concept for myself in her Starve Mode e-book (personally I love her podcasts that go with them).  This is all in line with what John and Brad have always taught us.  Perhaps it helps some of us women to also hear the same from a female.

 

We all do a little “mental accounting”

We are all different and there is no “one size fits all” for weight loss and fitness.  We all have different stress, health, lifestyle, and genetics.  Even so there are many similarities and most of us make the same mistakes.

We all play mental accounting games with both financial budgeting and food intake budgeting.  I remember when I just started my weight loss journey and my dear husband was trying to help me.  I had not learned yet to “budget in” treats.  I’d move along successfully for 10 days or with a nice deficit and suddenly go nuts for some treat like peanut brittle and say something like “I’ve been good.  I deserve this”.

Randy kept telling me you can’t keep doing that, it doesn’t work! And sure enough every time I did that I took a few steps backward in my fat loss progress and it took a week or two to regain my ground again.

After that happened a few times I started to get a clue that I didn’t want those backward steps, they were too demoralizing, so I finally stopped doing it.

I wasn’t counting calories at the time but my daily weighing on the scale was my reality check every time.  I still had enough body fat that the scale was still a useful tool if I ignored water fluctuations and only looked at the trend over time.  I also didn’t need to count calories because with significant body fat it was easy for me to simply eat less, pay attention to how I felt, and watch the trend on the scale.

Even in the years after we have already achieved our fat loss goals we can fall into the trap of mental accounting.  It happened to me this year.  I’ve had a rough year with strange hormone fluctuations and had what seemed like unbearable hunger at times.

Lack of sleep was the worst culprit of hunger for me and probably is for most people.  It puts a huge stress on your body.  Any stress will cause increased hunger and all stress accumulates.

So back to my “mental accounting”; I fell into this trap even though I was tracking my calories daily.  I seemed to remember my deficit days because they were so hard, but I seemed to lose track of how frequent and how high my “eat up” days were even when I entered them every day.  I knew it was good for me to “eat up” some days so I did whenever I felt like it, and I really was having a hard time with lack of sleep and stress.

I don’t use the body weight scale anymore but I could tell that my pants were getting tight and I didn’t like it.  I never got “fat” per se because even with my tight pants my body fat percentage is still dramatically low for a female.  It is nothing to be ashamed of, but it’s just my personal preference to be leaner when I can manage it.

 

Tracking calories is crucial for troubleshooting fat loss problems

I was practically in tears one day not that long ago.  I started feeling like there was something wrong with me.  I started thinking that my lack of progress for my personal goal was caused by my hormone issues.  I knew I was eating at a calorie deficit and dang those days were HARD!  Why was I not seeing progress?  It was time for a deep breath.  Calm down.

So my dear precious husband Randy sat me down in front of my computer and asked “Are you accurately tracking your calories?”  “Yes” I replied.  “So let’s take a look at the data” he said.

When we took a look at the 30 and 90 day charts it was obvious that I was really good at making sure I had some “eat up” days in between several summer vacation trips where I had plenty of “vacation eating”.  That is all well and good and part of enjoying life.  It should happen sometimes.  We are supposed to do this.  It was not the end of the world because I was nowhere near being “fat” and in fact was still within the realm of “under fat” on the DXA charts.

So the 90 day charts showed that the “eat up” days were far too frequent and far too high to make up for my very hard earned deficit days.  Since I’m very lean already I can’t go any lower on my deficit days.  So the only way I could make a sustainable deficit for myself is to knock down the peaks and try to make them fewer.  I had to get my “eat up” days back to a true maintenance day instead of way above what is needed for me.

 

The first 30 days here show what my pattern was for most of the prior year.  The peak were simply too high and too frequent.  Data like this is necessary for taking an objective look at fat loss troubleshooting.

The first 30 days here show what my pattern was for most of the prior year. The peaks were simply too high and too frequent. Data like this is necessary for taking an objective look at fat loss troubleshooting. Once I got those peaks under control for a couple of months things started falling into place.  Once again, yes the deficit must be there to lose fat.

 

I believe most of us have the capacity to eat far more than we need.  Most of us want more than we need.  I’ve only met a few rare people who can truly intuitively eat and regulate themselves and not get significantly over weight.  They usually are not the smaller people, but on occasion they are females.  You have a lot more room to fluctuate with your calories when you are a bigger person, especially taller males.

I measured my my food with the digital scale for a few weeks and meticulously kept my calorie peaks lower.  It was hard to get started but after a few weeks I fell into a groove and just rolled with it, constantly paying attention to how I felt.

If I felt good at the gym, slept well, and had enough energy to take care of my responsibilities and generally felt happy I knew I was doing good.  A few of the lower deficit days I woke up early and didn’t quite get enough sleep so I knew to eat slightly higher the next day, sometimes an extra 100 calories was all it took.

It’s not easy and it takes a fierce mindset to do this.  It never really gets any easier.  Sometimes I think the stars just have to line up perfectly for you.  So many things are out of your control during various seasons of your life.  Sometimes you just have to wait for the right season.  All you can do is your best and take it as slow as you need to sometimes.

The plan worked.  I still haven’t stepped on the scale but I can tell by my muscle definition, lose skin (well yes because I am nearly 53 years old!) and the way my clothes fit that I’m back down to slightly under 12% body fat.

When I see John and Carla in a few weeks they will be able to give me an objective assessment, but I know my body pretty well.  I don’t need the scale to tell me I’ve dropped significant fat in the last two months.  John and Carla have seen me when I was closer to 15% or so.  Now they will get to see me in person at closer to 11% and tell me if they notice the difference.

As far as what I eat I do exactly what Leigh Peele explains in her podcast I just listened to today as I was writing this. I have a few basic meals that I love and I tend to eat those repeatedly with just slight variety sometimes.  I love the food I eat.  It keeps me consistent.  I refuse to eat food I don’t like as long as I have choices available to me.

All of this helped me to reduce the “eat up” peaks shown on my graph from earlier this year.  I keep a public food diary online and have over 600 days of contiguous records.  I don’t really plan my meals too much, I just eat what I feel like eating while keeping my calorie budget and personal goals in mind at all times, balancing it with how I feel and my activity level.

If you are need help troubleshooting a fat loss problem I would highly recommend Leigh’s troubleshooting guide.

If you are in the Venus community and you want more leading edge knowledge and motivation on diet, health, and fitness I would highly recommend the Immersion package.  Our most successful women in the community who have lost significant fat and sustained their fitness for years are part of the Immersion program.

 

It’s very important not to compare your fat loss rate, muscle gain, or body fat percentage with others

I know I talked a little about my own body fat percentage and I wanted to make it clear that those numbers are unique to me.  We are all different and we get to work with the genetic hand we are dealt.  My dramatically low numbers for a female, especially that I lived that low for several years now, are unique to me and my higher than normal level of lean body mass.

I’m not a body builder or fitness competitor and never have been, but I have my own unique genetics and build.  I am also older and in a different season of my life with regards to my hormones.  I have been a long distance runner and have lifted heavy weights for over 30 years.

John and Brad will talk more about genetics and body fat next week.  For today I’ll just say that when it comes to rate of fat loss we are all different.  I actually lost 60 pounds fairly slowly over 2 years.  I’m glad I didn’t compare myself to others during that time.

Some periods of time it seemed nothing was happening but I kept plugging along and trusting the process.  I knew I was eating at a deficit, I knew it would work, and it did. I was patient and I was not in a race.  I was happy that it was happening for me.

Others around you may seem to lose weight faster. Don’t worry about them.  Just worry about you.

We all have different stress, different diets, different sizes and shapes, different fat patterns, different hormones, different water fluctuations, the list goes on and on.  All that matters is being patient and happy with your own progress.  Even if you participant in a contest it can’t be a race.  It’s all just for you and your own health and happiness.

Have a great weekend!

-Ro

 

Here are some pictures of Kiya and her stories to go with them.  She put this together for a speech she wrote called “The 1200 calorie fallacy”.  I think Kiya is pretty awesome and she is a fun and spunky personality in our online Venus community who brings lots of smiles and laughter around the place.

 

"When got back home, I started going through the pictures from the cruise – and everything stopped around me when I got to this one."

“When got back home, I started going through the pictures from the cruise – and everything stopped around me when I got to this one.”

Don’t I look happy, there? I decided to take a spur of the moment trip to celebrate my 35th birthday, and settled on taking a Caribbean cruise. I fell in love with cruising – with the convenience, with the cost, with the concept of a floating hotel which took you to different places – without having to repack! Before the third day of the cruise was over, I knew that I would be back the next year.


When got back home, I started going through the pictures from the cruise – and everything stopped around me when I got to this one.


I knew that was me – clearly, that was me. But the woman that I was looking at, the woman in that picture, she wasn’t who I felt like I was on the inside. I looked happy – but I felt like some of my spirit – some of my joy, some of my sparkle, some of my shine – was over-shadowed by my weight.

"After going through the cycle of gaining and losing and gaining even more back and fighting tooth and nail to lose even a portion of it again – I felt like I was broken."

“After going through the cycle of gaining and losing and gaining even more back and fighting tooth and nail to lose even a portion of it again – I felt like I was broken.”

I’d spent most of my adult life either obese or morbidly obese. My post-college weight ranged from a low of 190 pounds after over a year of strictly adhering to Atkins and a rigorous schedule of daily cardio in preparation for my wedding, to a high of 280 when I got burnt out from the constant cycle of denial and sweat.

 
And after going through the cycle of gaining and losing and gaining even more back and fighting tooth and nail to lose even a portion of it again – I felt like I was broken. That there was something essentially wrong with me, and that I was destined to always be fat.

"When I saw those pictures, of that woman who was me and yet not who I believed I was and not at all who my internal image of myself was - at that moment, I decided that I would dedicate 18 months to losing weight – and learning how to not gain it back."

“When I saw those pictures, of that woman who was me and yet not who I believed I was and not at all who my internal image of myself was – at that moment, I decided that I would dedicate 18 months to losing weight – and learning how to not gain it back.”

But when I saw those pictures, of that woman who was me and yet not who I believed I was and not at all who my internal image of myself was – at that moment, I decided that I would dedicate 18 months to losing weight – and learning how to not gain it back. And I was going to do something totally different – because clearly, the old ways didn’t work.

I considered getting gastric bypass done. That’s the ‘easy’ route, right? It was possibly certain to work, and well-proven.


But I’m cheap. And I don’t like going under anesthesia. And based on one of my friends who had the surgery done – it was no assurance of long-time success.

The idea, though, led me to wonder how many calories I REALLY needed to be eating. Gastric bypass patients lose the weight not from the surgery itself, but from the low calorie diets they are forced to go on because of the shrunken size of their stomachs.

With that awareness in mind, I started digging for the source of the 1200 calorie minimum caloric intake that was everywhere in regards to weight-loss, and couldn’t find any root source from the FDA.


In fact, the best source for minimum required caloric intake that I found was from a report from the WHO, which stated that for a woman my age, the adequate macronutrient intake for health was:

Carbohydrates = 130g
Protein = 46g
Fat = No required intake for health, recommended 15% of total
This meant that in order to maintain my body weight, I needed to be taking in a minimum of 520 + 184 + 162 = 866 calories a day.

Considering that I didn’t want to maintain my body weight – why was I sticking to a minimum of 1200 calories – esp. when that had been failing me for so many years?

I started thinking about my caloric intake as my salary. The fat that I had carried on me for over 20 years was my savings account, and the energy I expended on a day to day basis was my bill.

If I wanted to empty out my savings account – I had to quit my job!

I adjusted to the thought of having a calorie ‘budget’ – I could spend it any way I wanted to – but I had to be very conscious of what I could afford. Having that chocolate now might mean I have to skip dinner, later.

I started tracking every bite of what went into my mouth, I didn’t drop below the WHO minimum, but ate a lot less than I ever had and slowly but surely, the excess calories I had stored on me began to be burnt off.

"I learned that my body was a better guide than any calculator or book could be – that if I was gaining weight; I was eating more than I needed to maintain my weight. If I was losing weight, I was eating less than I needed to maintain my weight. If I was maintaining my weight – well, I was eating just enough."

“I learned that my body was a better guide than any calculator or book could be – that if I was gaining weight; I was eating more than I needed to maintain my weight. If I was losing weight, I was eating less than I needed to maintain my weight. If I was maintaining my weight – well, I was eating just enough.”

I started lifting weights – because as I shed the fat, I wanted to be sure that I shaped the body that was left behind.

I learned that my body was a better guide than any calculator or book could be – that if I was gaining weight; I was eating more than I needed to maintain my weight. If I was losing weight, I was eating less than I needed to maintain my weight. If I was maintaining my weight – well, I was eating just enough.

I learned that I was strong – in more than just body, but also in mind. I learned that I was not – and never had been – broken.

I learned what real hunger felt like, and learned how little I actually needed to eat to be strong and healthy and fully functional. I learned that as a small woman, I only need a small amount of food to keep myself going.

20 months after I decided to dedicate 18 months to changing my interaction with my body and food, I know that I’ve learned enough to insure that I’ll never wear these pants again – and most importantly, my light, my spirit and my joy – shows clearly for me – and everyone else – to see!

"I know that I’ve learned enough to insure that I’ll never wear these pants again – and most importantly, my light, my spirit and my joy – shows clearly for me – and everyone else – to see!"

“I know that I’ve learned enough to insure that I’ll never wear these pants again – and most importantly, my light, my spirit and my joy
– shows clearly for me – and everyone else – to see!”

 

NOTES:  Kiya referenced the Institute of Medicine reports:

 

What about Genetic Differences in Performance?

These are some of the very first Venus Transformation contest winners ever.  They trusted John and Brad back in the day.

These are some of the very first Venus Transformation contest winners ever. They trusted John and Brad back in the day. They each have their own unique genetics and nothing stopped them from becoming their best.

 

You can achieve your best regardless of your genetics.

These are some of the very first Venus Transformation contest winners ever. They trusted John and Brad back in the day. They each have their own unique genetics and nothing stopped them from becoming their best.  John Barban and Brad Pilon learned from the trials and errors of these girls struggles to lose fat and build their best shape.

The experiences and data collected on these first contest winners, along with those of us in the subsequent transformation contests and other research enabled John to develop a new diet protocol called the “The 12 week Undulating Metabolic Override Program”.

The protocol included in the Venus Factor 12-week Fat Loss System is designed to help prevent “crashing” and allow your body some recovery from a calorie deficit, teach your body to become efficient at utilizing protein for muscle repair and recovery, and to teach your body to become more efficient at burning carbohydrates.

The secret to the Venus Factor is the magic of the support community along with hormone research and the experiences of those who succeeded and sustained their fitness level.

The secret to the Venus Factor is the magic of the support community along with hormone research and the experiences of those who succeeded and sustained their fitness level.

What about genetic differences in performance?

  • There is research to show genetic differences effect performance.
  • We constantly compare ourselves with others in the gym and watching sports events.
  • We can’t help doing that, but you should at least try and compare yourself to someone of very similar genetics.
  • Genetics play a huge role in success; it plays a bigger role than anyone ever wanted to admit.
  • It doesn’t mean you are not a good person or equally of value as a human if you don’t have specific genetic gifts.
  • It doesn’t seem fair. No matter how hard you practice you won’t be the same as someone who is truly gifted.  Life is not fair. 
  • If everything was equal the person who did the best hardest work wins.  This is not what happens. Genetics plays the bigger role.
  • We are all unique.
  • But at the same time genetics should not be a reason to not work hard to be your best.
  • It is not an excuse to not work hard to achieve your best.  As far as performances compare yourself to your own performance; improve yourself.
  • What you can achieve?
  • Knowing about genetics is great way to understand what other people have achieved.
  • John and Brad go into great detail into how genetics affect various sports. 
  • It does not always mean if you train harder you will get the same results as someone else.
  • It does not mean you should give up training.
  • Everyone is capable of change.
  • Don’t base any of your metrics on performance.
  • All that matters is your own results.
  • How you respond to exercise and diet is unique to you.   You can try things that others do, but it does not mean it will work for you. Also what works for you will change over time. You will have to experiment to find what works for you.

John gives a long explanation about how genetics affect certain sports – I almost spit out my coffee on my screen!

Oh my gosh I never knew! When John described specifically what on the body makes a good runner I almost spit my coffee out all over my screen.  Why?  Because I’ve spent over 30 years trying to be good runner and I am completely the opposite of what makes a good runner.  The good news is that it does not really matter.  I always concentrated on merely improving my own PR (Personal Record).

Once after my dear husband Randy was my “support team” for a 50 mile race he said it was funny to see me during various parts of the race.  I didn’t look like anyone else there, I was short and stocky, with thick limbs, totally the opposite of what John describes in the podcast, even for what makes a good runner in the hot climate.  It was so crazy to learn this today.

It makes me realize that I’ve always done well with running in spite of having the completely wrong genetics for good performance.  Even when I was slightly over weight I typically placed in most races in the top 1/3.  There were even a few times when I placed in the top three for my age group, and twice in my life I placed first overall (in smaller races).  I love running and I still do.  So having the completely wrong genetics didn’t stop me from achieving my best and enjoying a sport that I love.

Once I did the Venus workout system for awhile I found that it improved my running performance.  Earlier this year, at age 52, I completed my best PR for the half marathon and a then two months later I got a first place for my age group the Komen Rock The Race Sacramento 2013 5k.  I still very much enjoy the sport of running.

 

My own genetic experiment

Brad talks for a moment about the nature vs. nurture controversy.  Not by choice but I have had a chance to see a bit about what can happen a lot with nature vs. nurture in my own life.  I have an identical twin and we are both nearly 53 years old now.  I mentioned a bit about my upbringing and showed a picture of my twin and I when we were little girls in “Ten Thousand Ways that Won’t Work“.

My twin and I have not lived together since we were eleven years old.  We have taken two very different paths in life.  Since we have identical genetics we can both look at each other and it’s like looking in the mirror and seeing what could have been if we each made different lifestyle choices.  It gives us each a very unique perspective.

My identical twin and I were 21 years old in this picture.  Only about 50% of my friends are able to guess which is me.

My identical twin and I were 21 years old in this picture. Only about 50% of my friends are able to guess which is me.

 

You can change your shape.  You can achieve your dream.  You can affect many things that you have control over.  You can build muscle.  You can lose fat.  You do not have to accept where you are.  You do not have to accept being over weight or obesity, regardless of your age or the amount of body fat you have at the moment.  At some point you may have to accept certain genetic limitations, but you will never know until you try.

There are no athletes in my family.  There was no example for me to see what I could achieve for myself.  I always suspected I might have some athletic ability.  There were a couple of times when I was young when I came close, but no where near what I achieved after finding the Venus Factor at age 50.

It wasn’t until I strove for the Venus Ideal and learned the truth about my nutritional needs that I far surpassed what I ever dreamed possible for myself.  At almost 53 years old I believe I have now reached my genetic potential.  Now I’m working just to stay healthy, functional, have a good quality of life (as much as in my control), and to keep a shape that I feel good about in my every day life.  I am enjoying the Venus lifestyle very much and I have maintained my level of fitness for several years now.  I’m still pretty darn happy about that.

-Ro

 

Find out what John and Brad have to say about Genetic Differences in Performance:

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Ask Nicola; Three Things That Can Hinder Your Success

There are three major things that can get in the way of your success:

This goes for all success, not just diet and fitness.

  •     Relationships with others
  •     Relationship with self
  •     Life stress and pressure

These will be your major challenges.  John and Nicola talk about these issues in today’s podcast.

You will experience negative backlash as you get in shape.  You will never be able to guess who will be on your side or who will not be as supportive as you thought.  As you gain your success it will put your relationships in a state of flux.

Some people who were your friends or that you are close to will become jealous or insecure because of your success; while at the same time you will make new friends who will support you.  All of your relationships will be tested.

The change in the relationship with yourself:   Are you being compassionate, kind, and loving to yourself?  You can’t rely on others to validate you.  Give yourself permission to be good to you.  This will help you with your relationships with others.

 

I’m finding out who my real friends are.  I’m happy to say that my friend Carla here is a true and trusted friend.  Our support goes both ways and we both cheer each other on and help each other when we are down.  It’s great to have true friends.

I’m finding out who my real friends are. I’m happy to say that my friend Carla here is a true and trusted friend. Our support goes both ways and we both cheer each other on and help each other when we are down. It’s great to have true friends.

 

My support circle changed.

Like everyone else who has paved the way before me, and what I also see happening for newer women finding success in our community; all the relationships around me changed.  I’m blessed to have an incredibly supportive husband (my dear Randy).

Randy has actually changed along with me regarding healthier eating habits.  He was the one who helped me get started and he has been my support all along.

Even though Randy was never over weight we both agreed that some of the steps we took to help me lose weight we will keep for good, like not having snack foods around the house as a normal routine.

Randy has even taken up Eat Stop Eat practices as a way to maintain his physique.  He also decided to join me regarding not consuming typical breakfast cereals and discarding a lot of the eating habits that are ingrained in our current modern North American society.

We both have evolved to a non-conventional eating lifestyle where neither of us puts pressure on the other to eat at specific times or when the other is not hungry.  We both respect the needs of each other while staying healthy and fit.

It does not mean we have to neglect time together.  Sometimes I’ll have a cup of tea and chat with him while he is eating, or other times we will skip a meal together yet sit outside on the deck sipping coffee or tea instead.  Other times we make an effort to plan a meal together.

I’m not sure how successful I would be without Randy’s support.  He was there for me during all the painful flux of my relationships with others.

 

 

We both have evolved to a non-conventional eating lifestyle where neither of us puts pressure on the other to eat at specific times or when the other is not hungry.

We both have evolved to a non-conventional eating lifestyle where neither of us puts pressure on the other to eat at specific times or when the other is not hungry.

 

Other people are still used to the old you.

The thing is; the others who said hurtful things to me many times didn’t even realize how hurtful they were.  When you gain success it changes how others view you and themselves, it causes insecurity, uncertainty, and it is scary to some people.  They were used to the old you. 

I have found out who my real friends are.  Friendships continued to change even after my fitness success and as I progressed along and found success in other aspects of my life. 

As my success increased, I had yet even new “fitness support” friends become negative and hurtful.  Again, I don’t think they meant it, I think they are just so wrapped up in their own insecurity that they don’t even see it.

It doesn’t mean that I can’t still be friends with them, but I’ve learned I have to put my guard up a little now and establish new boundaries.  It’s just part of life.

 

Don’t look back.

My new motto for when people are mean, jealous, and ugly towards me is to be thankful because they are a reminder of what I don’t want to be.  I can’t control them.  I can’t change them.  I can’t tell them they might need counseling for their insecurities, constant negative talk, or constantly putting other people down.

I can only change me.  I can decide I do not want to be like that.  Besides that, I know that the real reason they are hurtful towards me is because they themselves are hurting.  I can decide to be the one with compassion, yet refuse to be a doormat.

I also can’t spend the time to think about their negativity as it hinders my own growth and my own effort to strive to be positive and forward thinking.  It’s a waste of time and it is toxic.  My life is moving forward too fast to turn backwards and look at them.  Just like everything else we do; keep moving forward.

Randy and I have seen some funny changes over the last several years with the interactions I now have with people all around me in all aspects of my life.  As a female you will find that as you become fit many other females will become frosty towards you, yet the men will become friendlier and you will get more attention.   In general you will get more respect.

At the Sheriff’s department Randy jokingly says that I went from being an “ink blot” deputy (I would say I was frumpy and more matronly looking), to someone who looks more youthful and is highly respected. I am now sought out for advice and opinions or sometimes just for chit chat when I was previously mostly ignored.

It’s mostly all fun but it’s hard when at times it costs you some friendships.  It’s the price you pay for doing something extraordinary and improving yourself.  It is something we all have to work through.  Like Nicola said, the best place to start is with you.

-Ro

 

Dr. Nicola Bird

Nicola’s Online Program

Listen to John’s interview with Dr. Nicola Bird here, and please “like” it when you’re done:

 

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