The Straw That Broke the Calorie Deficit’s back

Carla has mastered the art of maintenance; the ebbs and flow of various seasons and feast times in your life counter balance a few deficit days now and then.

Carla has mastered the art of maintenance; the ebbs and flows of various seasons and feasting, counter balanced with deficit days now and then.

What about maintenance or “eat up” days?

Maintenance days or “eat up” days in the Venus Factor fat loss program are eating up to the level your body needs to maintain.  This is not a level where you lose fat, nor do you gain fat. 

It’s not a “cheat”, binge, or free for all. It is how you should eat. It is necessary. This is what you are meant to do. It is what your body was designed for. It should be enjoyed.

Sometimes we get used to a calorie deficit and we don’t want to eat up to maintenance. No one can tell you what to do, but these eat up days are designed into the fat loss protocol for a reason. Diet history has shown that if people go too long restricting calories they will eventually crash. 

But there is more to the story…

A calorie deficit is corrective action

The calorie deficit necessary for fat loss is drastic action. 

It is corrective action needed for fixing a health problem.  It’s not how you are meant to live your life.  It’s not ongoing, it’s meant to have an end point.  The goal isn’t to get down to zero percent body fat.

Sometimes you get so used to the deficit that you start feeling like it is how you live your life and it’s hard to learn how to stop doing it.

But just like a patient receiving treatment for a health problem there will come a time when you need to learn how to live your life without the “treatment”.

Enjoy the food!

Even if the calorie deficit is hard, it’s not like you don’t get to eat. You should enjoy the food you do eat. Savor every bite and appreciate the nourishment and energy it brings you. Know that you can always have more next time.

Enjoy your maintenance days too.  After a while you’ll notice it’s not all that much more food, so just enjoy it. Let your body have the recovery it needs from eating up to the level it needs. 

Maintenance days are recovery days

Maintenance days are recovery days from the calorie deficit.  They are just as important as the recovery days you take to rest from the workouts when you are sore and fatigued.

As John also states in the fat loss manual, specific macro increases are to “teach your body to become efficient at utilizing protein for muscle repair and recovery, and to teach your body to become more efficient at burning carbohydrates.”

“Eat up” to maintenance days are training for the rest of your life

John said he’s never seen a single person who did not flounder in maintenance after they hit their fat loss goal. They are so used to eating at calorie deficit that they don’t know how to “stop the treatment” or live life as they should.

If you learn to master these maintenance days now, you will be ahead of the game when your time comes, when you reach your goal.

It’s hard to imagine that it will happen, but if you keep going and you don’t give up, IT WILL HAPPEN. 

When it does, it feels surreal and hard to believe. Be prepared by mastering the art of eating at maintenance.

Learn to go with the ebbs and flow of various seasons and feast times in your life counter balanced with a few deficit days now and then.  You will need to know how to balance both a little for life.

The straw that broke the calorie deficit’s back

Depending on stress in your life, any stress, it can happen at any time; the crash and burn, or the binge.

Sometimes we just get on a roll.  We are happy with our success.  We are excited and we just want to keep going.  We get kind of greedy about fat loss progress. If we are counting calories we become calorie misers.

The problem is that you feel fine, and you keep on going, and you feel fine then some little thing happens, it piles itself onto all the stress in your life (including the prolonged calorie deficit) and BAM, you crash and burn.  You don’t know why it happened.  You don’t know why you went out of control. It’s the straw that broke the calorie deficit’s back.

This can set you behind.  It’s fine.  You can take a deep breath and regroup.  You know it’s not the end of the world of course, and you get back up and keep going.

But you might avoid this in the future if you take the time to learn how to eat up to maintenance a little more often.

Maintenance days are always a WIN

Remember that the “eat up” to maintenance days are always a win.  You can take one or more of these days whenever you want or feel you need them. You can take them for a week, several weeks, or a month if you want.  It’s always a win. 

John and Brad teach us this and if you want even more information to back this up there are others who teach this too.  I’ve learned a lot from Leigh Peele. Information, especially the right information, is power.

This is why I like our immersion program; it gives us the knowledge and the power to live our lives the way we want to again after recovering from obesity.

Eating up to maintenance is how you were meant to live, and it’s certainly not going backwards.  Going backwards is only a very long string of over eating or binge eating that requires corrective action to fix.  Maintenance does not require corrective action.  It truly is a win.

With Thanksgiving and Christmas behind us, and New Years still ahead, we are still at the tail end of a feasting season.  Some of us take a little break from the feasts right about now to take a little corrective action and that is a normal part of this season.

My friend Carla has learned the art of maintenance and she is active in our online community and always around to give a word of encouragement or advice.  She’s taken the time to learn the art.

Will you take the time to learn to be as successful as our beautiful Venus Carla?

-Ro

 

What About Gut Bacteria and Weight Loss? Uncensored Podcast

Kimberley is one of our many veteran "Every Day Venus" women who maintain the lifestyle ongoing.  Much of her success comes from eating healthy for her own personal health issues and paying attention to the reactions in her own body and how specific foods make her feel.

Kimberley is one of our many veteran “Every Day Venus” women who maintain the Venus lifestyle . Much of her success comes from eating healthy for her own personal health issues.   She pays attention to the reactions in her own body and how specific foods make her feel.

 

First of all, Merry Christmas to all of you who celebrate this holiday today!  For you this is a day of feast and celebration meant for you to enjoy with your family and friends, so ENJOY!  If you have weight loss goals just have fun today and get back on track with your normal routine as soon as you can after the holiday.

 

What about gut bacteria and weight loss?

John and Brad have been researching this subject and found:

  • The classic nutrition model:  Feed the machine, done.
  • The new model:  Feed the machine that feeds or feed the micro machines that feed you -you being the macro machine.

Most of us know that probiotics are good for you and make you feel better. Antibiotics can kill good bacteria and probiotics help build the good bacteria back up.

Within your intestines there 10 times as many bacteria cells as your body cells.  This is a very big part of your body, so it makes sense that this is important.

In order to appreciate the importance of the bacteria it is crucial to know they are a fundamental part of your body.  They influence hormones, how you feel, and are very much a part of who you are. 

Recent research pointed out that obese vs lean people have very different bacteria population within their bodies.

The bacterium changes your ability to metabolize certain foods. 

Right now John and Brad are spending some time to find out if there is a better way to use this information to help you lose weight more successfully.  They have found that there seems to be a link to this and those who have been the most successful at using the Venus system.

Kimberley has been very successful at maintaining her Venus shape.  She eats very healthy according to her own needs and health issues and is an expert at paying attention to how specific foods make her feel.

I have a rotating list of 1000 friends on My Fitness Pal (because that is their limit), some of who watch what I eat. I quite often get the question “Hey, if what you eat doesn’t matter for weight loss why do you eat so healthy?”

My answer has always been because it makes me feel good and perform well at the gym.  It also helps me sleep better and perform all of my daily responsibilities and maintain a cheerful outlook on life.  I take all of these things into account with everything I do regarding health and fitness.  At 53 years old now I am constantly thinking about my long term health and having the best quality of life for as long as I can.

What about you?  Do you think about what you eat and how it makes you feel and your ability to perform for all that you do every day?

I wish everyone a happy holiday and New Year!

-Ro

 

To hear more about what John and Brad have to say about gut bacteria and how it effects weight loss click on the link below.

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Questioning Metabolism

Jenny Weaks is one of our contest winners who knows how to walk the line; pushing hard with nutrition and workouts yet allowing the body to recover so she can keep a healthy metabolism.

Jenny Weaks is one of our contest winners who knows how to walk the line; pushing hard with nutrition and workouts yet allowing her body to recover so she can keep a healthy metabolism.

What is metabolism?

 It’s a vague term.  It is the sum total of the various chemical functions in our body, not the calorie cost of those functions because that’s your metabolic rate, but your metabolism is actually how are all those functions working and are they working properly?   Most people are actually interested in their metabolic rate.

There are many different ways to measure this and the outcome will be different for each method, but at the end of the day it doesn’t really give you what you need to make a change to your body.

Generally people think that a higher metabolism is better or that a higher metabolism feels more energetic.  In fact people can’t really even feel metabolism.  

What you really want is a healthy metabolism. 

Mainly all you need to do is avoid exhaustion and systematic fatigue.

People push themselves too hard with both a calorie deficit and exercise, get fatigued, and then blame their metabolism.  What they really need to do is stop pushing so hard without giving their body a chance to recover.

Don’t try to make too much happen too soon.

Exhaustion is in your control, metabolic rate is not.

To hear more about what John and Brad have to say about metabolism and metabolic rate click on the link below.

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VT9 12-Week Transformation Winners Announced

The VT9 results are in and the transformations and final pictures are simply amazing!

One thing I love about the focus for women in the Venus program is “The focus is proportions and shape (rather than weight loss at all costs or building muscle like a guy)” – John Barban.

Congratulations to everyone who entered and finished!  This took hard work on the part of everyone and it shows.

Here are the winners:

First Place – Michelle

"The best thing about Venus in my opinion is that while it is definitely challenging, it is not impossible to stick with because it is not so extreme that the majority could not sustain it. And what helps with making it so easy to sustain is the variety."

“The best thing about Venus in my opinion is that while it is definitely challenging, it is not impossible to stick with because it is not so extreme that the majority could not sustain it. And what helps with making it so easy to sustain is the variety.”

Second Place – Anna

"Venus changed my life because it changed my habits. My everyday routine became my way of living. I feel very strong and healthy now and I have lots of energy."

“Venus changed my life because it changed my habits. My everyday routine became my way of living. I feel very strong and healthy now and I have lots of energy.”

Third Place – Lou Ann

"Venus has taught me to live, not just diet. It isn’t always easy, but it is beautifully simple:  eat whatever I want within my calories, and lift weights. The most monumental mental shift I’ve made is no longer having an “all or nothing” mentality, meaning I don’t punish myself emotionally and then blow off the rest of the day/week/month because I screwed up. I can LIVE and ENJOY my life as a Venus!"

“Venus has taught me to live, not just diet. It isn’t always easy, but it is beautifully simple: eat whatever I want within my calories, and lift weights. The most monumental mental shift I’ve made is no longer having an “all or nothing” mentality, meaning I don’t punish myself emotionally and then blow off the rest of the day/week/month because I screwed up. I can LIVE and ENJOY my life as a Venus!”

Fourth Place – Danielle

"I found the key to my success this time was John's secret of "never let them see you sweat". I never complained about dieting or bragged about hitting the gym 5-6 days/week. Instead I made it a personal journey and made sure to still enjoy social eating with my friends (within reason)."

“I found the key to my success this time was John’s secret of “never let them see you sweat”. I never complained about dieting or bragged about hitting the gym 5-6 days/week. Instead I made it a personal journey and made sure to still enjoy social eating with my friends (within reason).”

Fifth Place -Valerie

"I have tried so many diets over the past 15 years and I did initially lose weight on them, but I would get to a certain point to where I would stop losing weight and eventually the weight came back on.  With the Venus Index, I finally can see my body changing shape, getting stronger, and feeling healthy.  Now that I am at the end of the contest, I can truthfully say that I feel like I finally have control over my body to shape it through a sensible diet and exercise program."

“I have tried so many diets over the past 15 years and I did initially lose weight on them, but I would get to a certain point to where I would stop losing weight and eventually the weight came back on. With the Venus Index, I finally can see my body changing shape, getting stronger, and feeling healthy. Now that I am at the end of the contest, I can truthfully say that I feel like I finally have control over my body to shape it through a sensible diet and exercise program.”

Sixth Place – Heidi

"With a steely resolve and a take no prisoners attitude those first 4 weeks flew by in textbook perfection and with them weight and cms flew off me so fast I was certain I'd be skeletal before the 12 weeks were done. It was exhilarating, I didn't hate my body anymore and when I pulled on trousers, I could button them up whilst continuing to breathe normally."

“With a steely resolve and a take no prisoners attitude those first 4 weeks flew by in textbook perfection and with them weight and cms flew off me so fast I was certain I’d be skeletal before the 12 weeks were done. It was exhilarating, I didn’t hate my body anymore and when I pulled on trousers, I could button them up whilst continuing to breathe normally.”

Seventh Place – Nadjia

"One of the best things about being a Venus is the access to the community. I am convinced that the biggest part of my success was the support from other Venus women. It would be easy not to put myself out there or make myself accountable to these women, but I would not have been successful. I would say to anyone wanting to make the most out of this program to use the tools that are provided. Take advantage of the forums, podcast, emails, and don’t be afraid to ask questions!"

“One of the best things about being a Venus is the access to the community. I am convinced that the biggest part of my success was the support from other Venus women. It would be easy not to put myself out there or make myself accountable to these women, but I would not have been successful. I would say to anyone wanting to make the most out of this program to use the tools that are provided. Take advantage of the forums, podcast, emails, and don’t be afraid to ask questions!”

  Eighth Place – Stephanie

Stephanie BnA

“I appreciate the look that other Venus women have, but I don’t try to look like them because my body is different. It’s all about the best shape I can achieve. Although my 12-week contest is behind me, my journey isn’t over yet. I plan to be a Venus gal for life. I feel wonderful and I am so proud of myself for taking on this challenge. If I can do it, anyone can! “

Ninth Place – Melissa

"I now weigh 142 pounds and it just keeps coming off! The compliments come from people every day. I am a more confident and outgoing woman now. I do not want this journey to end! I will continue to strive toward my Venus Index Measurements. I love the Venus Factor program! Anybody can do this! Thank you for changing my life forever! :)"

“I now weigh 142 pounds and it just keeps coming off! The compliments come from people every day. I am a more confident and outgoing woman now. I do not want this journey to end! I will continue to strive toward my Venus Index Measurements. I love the Venus Factor program! Anybody can do this! Thank you for changing my life forever! :)”

Tenth Place -Rhea

"At 54 and four kids later, I decided I wanted to actually complete one full 12-week program. The “nutritional piece” of most programs I own (30) have too many rules. Being a recovering bulimic, rules can trigger my perfectionism. Now I’m the size I was in college, pre-marriage and pre-children! I never thought I could do it without being active in my disease. Amazingly, I feel sexier than I ever have, which my husband is thrilled about."

“At 54 and four kids later, I decided I wanted to actually complete one full 12-week program. The “nutritional piece” of most programs I own (30) have too many rules. Being a recovering bulimic, rules can trigger my perfectionism. Now I’m the size I was in college, pre-marriage and pre-children! I never thought I could do it without being active in my disease. Amazingly, I feel sexier than I ever have, which my husband is thrilled about.”

 

Cover Girl Naomi

Naomi Clark - Venus Cover Girl

Naomi Clark – Venus Cover Girl

 

Cover Girl Liss

Liss Graham - Venus Cover Girl

Liss Graham – Venus Cover Girl

 

Cover Girl Jenny

Jenny Weaks - Venus Cover Girl

Jenny Weaks – Venus Cover Girl

Questioning Body Fat Percentage

Caroline and Tori are fitness competitors who both got in amazing shape and hit their Venus ratio's. Both had 23 and 24 percent body fat in their legs yet 5-7% in their upper body.  The main thing here is everyone depending on their genetics and heredity will compartmentalize fat differently on their body.

Caroline and Tori are fitness competitors who both got in amazing shape and hit their Venus ratio’s. Both had 23-24% body fat in their legs yet 5-7% in their upper body. The main thing here is everyone, depending on their genetics and heredity, will compartmentalize fat differently on their body. You can’t compare yourself to others.

What is so important about body fat percentage?

Hydrostatic body fat percentage is the gold standard.  It is the method which every other method is calibrated on.  There are no assumptions; they use just the properties of your body in the water.

What is so important about of your body fat percentage?  It’s a number.

It reminds Brad of eating for calories when you need to lose weight when really you just need to eat the right amount of food to lose weight.  People like to go to an online calculator and find out they are supposed to eat 2712 calories a day as an example, then they don’t lose weight and they think their metabolism is broken.  The calculator just gave them the wrong estimate for their body.  People forget that the body is the end game, not the calculator, chart, book, theory, or what someone else did to lose weight.

The total over all body fat percentage does not tell you a whole lot unless you reach a dramatically low percentage that it is irrelevant.   It’s just like how your overall body weight on the scale doesn’t tell you a whole lot either.

DEXA/DXA is the most accurate and is the key for a health standpoint because it tells you regional fat percentages.

Everyone stores fat differently

Brad and John have a lot of data to look at and today they focused on two female fitness competitors who were both approximately 15% body fat which is very low for females.   This is dramatically low for a woman.   One of them had 6.9% in her trunk (her upper body from the waist up).  The other one had below 5% in her trunk (she had a full set of shredded abs and her back was totally visible). 

Tori and Caroline are fitness competitors that places first and third in their respective categories so they were both in amazing shape.  Neither of them looked awkward, they both looked totally feminine.

Both had 23 and 24 percent body fat in their legs.  See the difference between the upper and lower body?  The main thing here is everyone depending on their genetics and heredity will compartmentalize fat differently on their body.

So another female could have 20% in her legs, but maybe 11% in her upper body, and roughly the same overall body fat percentage as Tory and Caroline and look totally different.  If she tries to compare herself to these fitness competitors (or anyone else for that matter) at the same overall body fat it totally falls apart. 

Everyone stores body fat in different patterns.  These storage patterns are genetic and you cannot manipulate them.  There are some schools of thought that you can manipulate them with diet but there is no data or measurements that prove this theory.  The theories are purely anecdotal and guess work. 

Don’t let body fat measurements hijack your goals

Setting a goal as a percentage body fat can mess you up.  It is a form of goal hijacking.

If you get down to your golden ratio and then would need to go a lot leaner to get the ab definition it could change your overall aesthetic to not be as visually appealing.  Also total body fat percentage is totally dependent on how much muscle mass is there.  Body fat is relative to your lean body mass.  So if you increase your lean body mass without losing any fat your overall body fat % drops.

Body weight and body fat percentage is only useful if you have a “shape” to go with it or a measurable goal like Venus or Adonis Ideal or Ratio.

 

What is your goal?

What is your goal?  To get to a certain size?  A certain weight?  For some of us it was to simply leave our obesity behind, become healthy and functional, have the ability to walk or hike with loved ones, and enjoy a better quality of life and not necessarily become a bikini model.

When I first joined the Venus Factor my goal was to get down to a size 8 which was the smallest size I’d ever been as an adult.  The goal setting in the Venus Factor program enabled me to exceed that by several sizes.  In fact I had no idea how lean I got until I had a hydrostatic body fat test which showed I’d gotten down to 10.5% overall body fat (I am 5’1″ and I was 116 pounds).

It was good that I had the test at that time because it helped me to understand that I needed to increase my food intake and give up trying for the Venus Ideal waist.  I didn’t realize that I was an outlier yet.  I had no idea what I had achieved.

 

I was trying to get down to my Venus Ideal waist and didn't realize that at 10.5% overall body fat there was no where left to go, nothing else left to lose.

I was trying to get down to my Venus Ideal waist and didn’t realize that at 10.5% overall body fat there was no where left to go, nothing else left to lose.  On the right I was at 11.5% at the time of my DXA scan.  With unusually high LBM for my height getting to my Venus Ideal waist is not a realistic goal for me, and that is okay, I get to work with the genetic hand I’m dealt.

 

I’d gotten down to probably slightly below 10% overall body fat for my Venus Transformation VT4 photos (at 109 pounds.)  This was the only time ever that I got to my Venus Ideal waist, for a mere moment in time.

A year later I had a DXA scan which showed that I’d gone up to 11.5% overall body fat with 105 pounds of lean body mass. My Android fat was 5% (.4 pounds) and my Gynoid was 16.8%, so like Tori and Caroline my legs were significantly higher compared to my upper body.

As John said this is typical for females. I was 51.5 years old at the time of the DXA (over a year ago) and because of my age I might have lower estrogen levels.  My hormone panel shows normal levels but I’m clearly in the season of my life where estrogen levels start waning. This may make it more possible to gain muscle and get to a lower body fat for females later in life.

I was very proud of the fact that DXA showed my Visceral Adipose Tissue (VAT) at .06 pounds!  From a health standpoint this is really good, although it’s probably not necessary to be that low.

 

How do body fat tests help you learn to maintain fitness?

I’ve lived my life for several years now floating 12-13% overall body fat and sometimes up to possibly 14-15% (just a guess).  The body fat tests were good for giving me a health marker and a rough idea about where I’m at depending on how my clothes fit.

I find tremendous freedom in no longer needing the body weight scale.  I know how my clothes fit and if I need to slim down just a bit I know how much to eat to make that happen, nothing else is really needed for me to maintain (except to keep up with training!)

My body fat level is unique to me.  It doesn’t make me better or worse than anyone else and shouldn’t be used as a comparison. It doesn’t mean anything to me but a health marker and a bench mark that goes with my pictures and my look and shape at that level.  That said, I’m learning to feel good about myself even when I don’t live my life at that 10% benchmark and can move up a little in body fat and not be too hard on myself.

By listening to podcasts like this today I learn more about my body.  This helped me to feel good about what I’ve achieved.  I am still maturing in my fitness life and will continue to constantly learn.  Listening to Leigh Peele podcasts are also helping me learn about my body and my fitness level as I mature in this process.

 

What happens when you get close to your Venus Ideal goal?

If you are following the Venus Factor System you will find that you will learn more once you get closer to your goal.  The goal setting in this program is a perfect place to start and will allow you to achieve exactly what you want and most likely exceed your expectations for yourself.

Some ladies get very close to the ideal and say this is close enough, they’ve achieved what they wanted, now they just want to enjoy life and keep what they’ve achieved.  And they go on to do exactly that.  It is great.  It fits their lifestyle and they move on.

Others will reach the Venus Ideal at a much higher body fat than I did, and that is perfect.  I kind of envy women with that genetic hand.  Sometimes if they try to go lower in body fat to get “ripped abs” or whatever it won’t look as good because they go beyond the Venus Ideal.  The Venus Ideal is based on what the human eye finds the most pleasing, and that is why the formula is used in art.

Other women will find they build muscle fairly easily because of their genetics and so will also likely reach a lower body fat level if they keep going with the fat loss.  Denise and I are in this category.  We live our day to day life with our waist circumference slightly above the Venus Ideal (or like me several inches above) and it’s just as good as those who get to live exactly at the ideal with more body fat.  Neither is better or worse, it just is what it is.

It is just as well and okay for women who find living slightly above the ideal ratio at a higher yet still quite healthy body fat level. After all it’s about being healthy, functional, having a better quality of life, and enjoying more time with your loved ones.

What matters is what makes YOU happy and healthy.  Once again, you, your body, and your life are the end game; not the system, program, workout, diet protocol, theory, ideal metrics, book, chart, calculator, or what someone else says or does.  You get to decide what makes you happy and all these tools can help you get to that point.

It really all depends on the genetic hand you are dealt.  You won’t know what you have until you lose enough fat.  The best way to lose significant fat is to divide and conquer while also weight training to the best of your ability.  The Venus Factor workouts are the best I’ve found for my build and have enabled me to reach my genetic potential in a way that at least my husband and friends around me say is still pleasing to the eye and still feminine yet strong.

What will you do to achieve your best genetic potential that fits your life?  I would love to hear about it.

-Ro

 

 

Find out what John and Brad have to say about questioning body fat percentage:

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Why “Eat More to Lose Fat” Is an Oxymoron

Like many other tiny females Kiya learned to ignore the many myths regarding calorie intake and use her own body as the end game.

Like many other tiny females Kiya learned to ignore the many myths regarding calorie intake and use her own body as the end game.

Have you ever thought you had broken metabolism?

Have you ever thought you were broken or that your metabolism was broken because it seemed like all the hard work you put in to lose weight didn’t work?

I did.  So did Kiya, and so did many other women in our community who finally found success with weight loss was finding the correct calorie deficit for their own body.

We found that it was not what a calculator said, not what a nutritionist said, not what a personal trainer said, not what a fitness competitor or body builder said, and not what someone else with an anecdotal story about what worked for them said.

I thought my low thyroid, low progesterone, low adrenal function, older age, and various menopausal issues were the cause for my being overweight (and obese).  They certainly were obstacles for me but they ended up not being the cause.

I thought the prescriptions my doctor gave me for those issues would be the magic pill.  No, for me the cure was just eating less for my small 5’ 1” frame.  Yes the prescriptions helped my health issues, but I still had to work and create a calorie deficit to lose the excess fat.

A calorie deficit is not fun for anyone.  If you have too much stress it’s nearly impossible. Sometimes you just have to be patient and wait for the right season for the deficit to work for you.

If you think you have things wrong with your hormone levels of course go to your doctor and get them checked out.

It is the intake of excess food that causes you to store fat.  The only thing that will make you lose fat is a caloric deficit.  Once I embraced that concept things started clicking for me.

What about “eat up” days?

I lost 60 pounds just eating smaller portions on dessert plates and I did not need to track or count calories, but now I have to be more meticulous, especially when I’m serious about my results.  I might need to track and measure sometimes.  It is especially important for troubleshooting fat loss problems.

As a tiny female it’s always bugged me when people online who don’t know anything about me, not even my height, said “You don’t eat enough”, “You are in starvation mode if you eat under 1200 calories” and “You must eat more to lose weight”.   I’d think “Really, do you see how often I kill it at the gym on 1200 calories or less?”  I don’t think a person in starvation mode kills it at the gym very often.

I’ve seen these people who say things like this derail the efforts of hundreds of other small females like myself.

To say “eat more to lose fat” is an oxymoron.

Not that a slight increase in calories isn’t appropriate at times.  We have a built in “eat up” to maintenance days in our “12 week Undulating Metabolic Override Program” to help keep leptin levels up and prevent “crashing”.

Having “eat up” maintenance days are useful for preventing a crash and keeping hormone levels stable, but the simple “eat more” advice is confusing and may be inappropriate for a smaller person who really wants to be in a calorie deficit.

It can be an excuse for some people to overeat or give up on fat loss.

Maintenance days are not “cheat days”; they are normal eating days.  For some of us smaller people a normal eating day may only be 100-300 calories more than a deficit day.  To simply say “eat more” is a huge disservice to us.

I wish they would qualify the “eat more” mantra to say “If you have too low of a calorie deficit and crash and binge, then eat up to maintenance more often to prevent crashing.”  That would be a more accurate statement. But even so, it is actually the binge eating and “inaccurate mental accounting” for calories that stall fat loss.  Both of those are already “eating more” thus simply saying “eat more” exasperates the problem.

If the person is truly not losing fat then they are not in a calorie deficit to begin with, so telling them to eat more will only make the problem worse.  The person needs to accurately and methodically troubleshoot the problem regarding food intake.  Most of the time there is some inaccurate “mental accounting” or misconception of actual food intake that needs to be solved that does not likely involve the simple “eat more” mantra.

Eating up or eating at maintenance should be done as often and as long as necessary to keep yourself sane and healthy.  Leigh Peele has helped me solidify this concept for myself in her Starve Mode e-book (personally I love her podcasts that go with them).  This is all in line with what John and Brad have always taught us.  Perhaps it helps some of us women to also hear the same from a female.

 

We all do a little “mental accounting”

We are all different and there is no “one size fits all” for weight loss and fitness.  We all have different stress, health, lifestyle, and genetics.  Even so there are many similarities and most of us make the same mistakes.

We all play mental accounting games with both financial budgeting and food intake budgeting.  I remember when I just started my weight loss journey and my dear husband was trying to help me.  I had not learned yet to “budget in” treats.  I’d move along successfully for 10 days or with a nice deficit and suddenly go nuts for some treat like peanut brittle and say something like “I’ve been good.  I deserve this”.

Randy kept telling me you can’t keep doing that, it doesn’t work! And sure enough every time I did that I took a few steps backward in my fat loss progress and it took a week or two to regain my ground again.

After that happened a few times I started to get a clue that I didn’t want those backward steps, they were too demoralizing, so I finally stopped doing it.

I wasn’t counting calories at the time but my daily weighing on the scale was my reality check every time.  I still had enough body fat that the scale was still a useful tool if I ignored water fluctuations and only looked at the trend over time.  I also didn’t need to count calories because with significant body fat it was easy for me to simply eat less, pay attention to how I felt, and watch the trend on the scale.

Even in the years after we have already achieved our fat loss goals we can fall into the trap of mental accounting.  It happened to me this year.  I’ve had a rough year with strange hormone fluctuations and had what seemed like unbearable hunger at times.

Lack of sleep was the worst culprit of hunger for me and probably is for most people.  It puts a huge stress on your body.  Any stress will cause increased hunger and all stress accumulates.

So back to my “mental accounting”; I fell into this trap even though I was tracking my calories daily.  I seemed to remember my deficit days because they were so hard, but I seemed to lose track of how frequent and how high my “eat up” days were even when I entered them every day.  I knew it was good for me to “eat up” some days so I did whenever I felt like it, and I really was having a hard time with lack of sleep and stress.

I don’t use the body weight scale anymore but I could tell that my pants were getting tight and I didn’t like it.  I never got “fat” per se because even with my tight pants my body fat percentage is still dramatically low for a female.  It is nothing to be ashamed of, but it’s just my personal preference to be leaner when I can manage it.

 

Tracking calories is crucial for troubleshooting fat loss problems

I was practically in tears one day not that long ago.  I started feeling like there was something wrong with me.  I started thinking that my lack of progress for my personal goal was caused by my hormone issues.  I knew I was eating at a calorie deficit and dang those days were HARD!  Why was I not seeing progress?  It was time for a deep breath.  Calm down.

So my dear precious husband Randy sat me down in front of my computer and asked “Are you accurately tracking your calories?”  “Yes” I replied.  “So let’s take a look at the data” he said.

When we took a look at the 30 and 90 day charts it was obvious that I was really good at making sure I had some “eat up” days in between several summer vacation trips where I had plenty of “vacation eating”.  That is all well and good and part of enjoying life.  It should happen sometimes.  We are supposed to do this.  It was not the end of the world because I was nowhere near being “fat” and in fact was still within the realm of “under fat” on the DXA charts.

So the 90 day charts showed that the “eat up” days were far too frequent and far too high to make up for my very hard earned deficit days.  Since I’m very lean already I can’t go any lower on my deficit days.  So the only way I could make a sustainable deficit for myself is to knock down the peaks and try to make them fewer.  I had to get my “eat up” days back to a true maintenance day instead of way above what is needed for me.

 

The first 30 days here show what my pattern was for most of the prior year.  The peak were simply too high and too frequent.  Data like this is necessary for taking an objective look at fat loss troubleshooting.

The first 30 days here show what my pattern was for most of the prior year. The peaks were simply too high and too frequent. Data like this is necessary for taking an objective look at fat loss troubleshooting. Once I got those peaks under control for a couple of months things started falling into place.  Once again, yes the deficit must be there to lose fat.

 

I believe most of us have the capacity to eat far more than we need.  Most of us want more than we need.  I’ve only met a few rare people who can truly intuitively eat and regulate themselves and not get significantly over weight.  They usually are not the smaller people, but on occasion they are females.  You have a lot more room to fluctuate with your calories when you are a bigger person, especially taller males.

I measured my my food with the digital scale for a few weeks and meticulously kept my calorie peaks lower.  It was hard to get started but after a few weeks I fell into a groove and just rolled with it, constantly paying attention to how I felt.

If I felt good at the gym, slept well, and had enough energy to take care of my responsibilities and generally felt happy I knew I was doing good.  A few of the lower deficit days I woke up early and didn’t quite get enough sleep so I knew to eat slightly higher the next day, sometimes an extra 100 calories was all it took.

It’s not easy and it takes a fierce mindset to do this.  It never really gets any easier.  Sometimes I think the stars just have to line up perfectly for you.  So many things are out of your control during various seasons of your life.  Sometimes you just have to wait for the right season.  All you can do is your best and take it as slow as you need to sometimes.

The plan worked.  I still haven’t stepped on the scale but I can tell by my muscle definition, lose skin (well yes because I am nearly 53 years old!) and the way my clothes fit that I’m back down to slightly under 12% body fat.

When I see John and Carla in a few weeks they will be able to give me an objective assessment, but I know my body pretty well.  I don’t need the scale to tell me I’ve dropped significant fat in the last two months.  John and Carla have seen me when I was closer to 15% or so.  Now they will get to see me in person at closer to 11% and tell me if they notice the difference.

As far as what I eat I do exactly what Leigh Peele explains in her podcast I just listened to today as I was writing this. I have a few basic meals that I love and I tend to eat those repeatedly with just slight variety sometimes.  I love the food I eat.  It keeps me consistent.  I refuse to eat food I don’t like as long as I have choices available to me.

All of this helped me to reduce the “eat up” peaks shown on my graph from earlier this year.  I keep a public food diary online and have over 600 days of contiguous records.  I don’t really plan my meals too much, I just eat what I feel like eating while keeping my calorie budget and personal goals in mind at all times, balancing it with how I feel and my activity level.

If you are need help troubleshooting a fat loss problem I would highly recommend Leigh’s troubleshooting guide.

If you are in the Venus community and you want more leading edge knowledge and motivation on diet, health, and fitness I would highly recommend the Immersion package.  Our most successful women in the community who have lost significant fat and sustained their fitness for years are part of the Immersion program.

 

It’s very important not to compare your fat loss rate, muscle gain, or body fat percentage with others

I know I talked a little about my own body fat percentage and I wanted to make it clear that those numbers are unique to me.  We are all different and we get to work with the genetic hand we are dealt.  My dramatically low numbers for a female, especially that I lived that low for several years now, are unique to me and my higher than normal level of lean body mass.

I’m not a body builder or fitness competitor and never have been, but I have my own unique genetics and build.  I am also older and in a different season of my life with regards to my hormones.  I have been a long distance runner and have lifted heavy weights for over 30 years.

John and Brad will talk more about genetics and body fat next week.  For today I’ll just say that when it comes to rate of fat loss we are all different.  I actually lost 60 pounds fairly slowly over 2 years.  I’m glad I didn’t compare myself to others during that time.

Some periods of time it seemed nothing was happening but I kept plugging along and trusting the process.  I knew I was eating at a deficit, I knew it would work, and it did. I was patient and I was not in a race.  I was happy that it was happening for me.

Others around you may seem to lose weight faster. Don’t worry about them.  Just worry about you.

We all have different stress, different diets, different sizes and shapes, different fat patterns, different hormones, different water fluctuations, the list goes on and on.  All that matters is being patient and happy with your own progress.  Even if you participant in a contest it can’t be a race.  It’s all just for you and your own health and happiness.

Have a great weekend!

-Ro

 

Here are some pictures of Kiya and her stories to go with them.  She put this together for a speech she wrote called “The 1200 calorie fallacy”.  I think Kiya is pretty awesome and she is a fun and spunky personality in our online Venus community who brings lots of smiles and laughter around the place.

 

"When got back home, I started going through the pictures from the cruise – and everything stopped around me when I got to this one."

“When got back home, I started going through the pictures from the cruise – and everything stopped around me when I got to this one.”

Don’t I look happy, there? I decided to take a spur of the moment trip to celebrate my 35th birthday, and settled on taking a Caribbean cruise. I fell in love with cruising – with the convenience, with the cost, with the concept of a floating hotel which took you to different places – without having to repack! Before the third day of the cruise was over, I knew that I would be back the next year.


When got back home, I started going through the pictures from the cruise – and everything stopped around me when I got to this one.


I knew that was me – clearly, that was me. But the woman that I was looking at, the woman in that picture, she wasn’t who I felt like I was on the inside. I looked happy – but I felt like some of my spirit – some of my joy, some of my sparkle, some of my shine – was over-shadowed by my weight.

"After going through the cycle of gaining and losing and gaining even more back and fighting tooth and nail to lose even a portion of it again – I felt like I was broken."

“After going through the cycle of gaining and losing and gaining even more back and fighting tooth and nail to lose even a portion of it again – I felt like I was broken.”

I’d spent most of my adult life either obese or morbidly obese. My post-college weight ranged from a low of 190 pounds after over a year of strictly adhering to Atkins and a rigorous schedule of daily cardio in preparation for my wedding, to a high of 280 when I got burnt out from the constant cycle of denial and sweat.

 
And after going through the cycle of gaining and losing and gaining even more back and fighting tooth and nail to lose even a portion of it again – I felt like I was broken. That there was something essentially wrong with me, and that I was destined to always be fat.

"When I saw those pictures, of that woman who was me and yet not who I believed I was and not at all who my internal image of myself was - at that moment, I decided that I would dedicate 18 months to losing weight – and learning how to not gain it back."

“When I saw those pictures, of that woman who was me and yet not who I believed I was and not at all who my internal image of myself was – at that moment, I decided that I would dedicate 18 months to losing weight – and learning how to not gain it back.”

But when I saw those pictures, of that woman who was me and yet not who I believed I was and not at all who my internal image of myself was – at that moment, I decided that I would dedicate 18 months to losing weight – and learning how to not gain it back. And I was going to do something totally different – because clearly, the old ways didn’t work.

I considered getting gastric bypass done. That’s the ‘easy’ route, right? It was possibly certain to work, and well-proven.


But I’m cheap. And I don’t like going under anesthesia. And based on one of my friends who had the surgery done – it was no assurance of long-time success.

The idea, though, led me to wonder how many calories I REALLY needed to be eating. Gastric bypass patients lose the weight not from the surgery itself, but from the low calorie diets they are forced to go on because of the shrunken size of their stomachs.

With that awareness in mind, I started digging for the source of the 1200 calorie minimum caloric intake that was everywhere in regards to weight-loss, and couldn’t find any root source from the FDA.


In fact, the best source for minimum required caloric intake that I found was from a report from the WHO, which stated that for a woman my age, the adequate macronutrient intake for health was:

Carbohydrates = 130g
Protein = 46g
Fat = No required intake for health, recommended 15% of total
This meant that in order to maintain my body weight, I needed to be taking in a minimum of 520 + 184 + 162 = 866 calories a day.

Considering that I didn’t want to maintain my body weight – why was I sticking to a minimum of 1200 calories – esp. when that had been failing me for so many years?

I started thinking about my caloric intake as my salary. The fat that I had carried on me for over 20 years was my savings account, and the energy I expended on a day to day basis was my bill.

If I wanted to empty out my savings account – I had to quit my job!

I adjusted to the thought of having a calorie ‘budget’ – I could spend it any way I wanted to – but I had to be very conscious of what I could afford. Having that chocolate now might mean I have to skip dinner, later.

I started tracking every bite of what went into my mouth, I didn’t drop below the WHO minimum, but ate a lot less than I ever had and slowly but surely, the excess calories I had stored on me began to be burnt off.

"I learned that my body was a better guide than any calculator or book could be – that if I was gaining weight; I was eating more than I needed to maintain my weight. If I was losing weight, I was eating less than I needed to maintain my weight. If I was maintaining my weight – well, I was eating just enough."

“I learned that my body was a better guide than any calculator or book could be – that if I was gaining weight; I was eating more than I needed to maintain my weight. If I was losing weight, I was eating less than I needed to maintain my weight. If I was maintaining my weight – well, I was eating just enough.”

I started lifting weights – because as I shed the fat, I wanted to be sure that I shaped the body that was left behind.

I learned that my body was a better guide than any calculator or book could be – that if I was gaining weight; I was eating more than I needed to maintain my weight. If I was losing weight, I was eating less than I needed to maintain my weight. If I was maintaining my weight – well, I was eating just enough.

I learned that I was strong – in more than just body, but also in mind. I learned that I was not – and never had been – broken.

I learned what real hunger felt like, and learned how little I actually needed to eat to be strong and healthy and fully functional. I learned that as a small woman, I only need a small amount of food to keep myself going.

20 months after I decided to dedicate 18 months to changing my interaction with my body and food, I know that I’ve learned enough to insure that I’ll never wear these pants again – and most importantly, my light, my spirit and my joy – shows clearly for me – and everyone else – to see!

"I know that I’ve learned enough to insure that I’ll never wear these pants again – and most importantly, my light, my spirit and my joy – shows clearly for me – and everyone else – to see!"

“I know that I’ve learned enough to insure that I’ll never wear these pants again – and most importantly, my light, my spirit and my joy
– shows clearly for me – and everyone else – to see!”

 

NOTES:  Kiya referenced the Institute of Medicine reports:

 

Ask Nicola; How do you Successfully Sustain Your New Fit Body?

 

We have many women who have sustained their fitness level but Kimberley was the very first to be labeled the "Every Day Venus".

We have many women who have sustained their fitness level but Kimberley was the very first to be labeled the “Every Day Venus”. We now have many in the community who have followed in her footsteps.

How do you sustain your new body once you achieve your fitness goal?

Why do people relapse? 

It is a new way of living.  It’s not the way you lived that got you to gain weight, and it’s also not the way you lived to lose the weight, it’s a new third way of living.

This third way is usually not thought of for maintenance.  It is 90% mental. You are moving from a honeymoon phase back to dealing with real life in your new fit body.

Sustainability for maintenance is a new concept completely.  There is a lot of mental change that needs to take place.

 

Expectations – Shift your expectations once you’re in a new phase of your diet and fitness life.

Change of your expectations; you aren’t going to have the same rush of excitement as when you were losing weight.  You thought this was going to fix everything in your life, but now you are just dealing with the day to day stress of life.  There are not really any exciting changes anymore with regard to fitness goals.

 

Flexibility – Must learn to be flexible with your thoughts, and actions.

Be Flexible; with the challenges of life, the messiness, and boredom, you can’t let the bad days define you.  Don’t let yourself get into a negative cycle because your expectations about what maintenance were not what you thought it would be like.

You are worth the effort to stay fit.   For the 12 weeks during a contest or challenge you may have been able to be more inflexible but that is not a sustainable way to live.  Now as you move on in life you need to learn to live your normally life again.

 

Vulnerability – Must accept and manage your vulnerability.

Bad days will happen; you must get back on with life and it’s messy sometimes. If you don’t accept your vulnerability you will fall into a trap of having unrealistic expectations of yourself that leads to a feeling of failure.

Accepting your vulnerability; you are still going to have fears.  You are still not going to be supported by everyone in your life.  Life is still hard, messy, work stress is still there, fears still exist, relationship issues still happen, your insecurities and self-image are still there, you are still you.

 

We all stumble a little as we mature

When I first achieved my fitness goal, no actually even when I exceeded my fitness goal, I didn’t even realize I was there yet.  It takes awhile for your mind to catch up with your body.

I’d spent so long losing weight that I didn’t know how to stop.  I was afraid I’d gain it all back.  I was afraid to eat more.  I had a lot of fears.  There was a lot of jealousy and shifting relationships in my life.

Yes I was fit and confident and that was fun, but all the problems that have always existed were still there.  All my fears and insecurities were still there.  I’d pushed a lot of things out of my mind to focus on my fitness goal, now it was done.  Now what?

You learn to live a normal life again.  You learn to socialize again as the new fit person.  And you keep maturing and learning. You stumble and you make mistakes, and you learn and you keep going.

What will you do to make sure you succeed when you reach your new way of life?  Make a plan.  Start now.

There are many in the community who are willing to help.

-Ro

 

Dr. Nicola and John talk about many of the issues that are important to start working on right away, before you reach your fitness goals:

Several veteran Venuses have written about their struggles and what they have learned:

 

 

Dr. Nicola Bird

Nicola’s Online Program

Listen to John’s interview with Dr. Nicola Bird here, and please “like” it when you’re done:

What about Genetic Differences in Performance?

These are some of the very first Venus Transformation contest winners ever.  They trusted John and Brad back in the day.

These are some of the very first Venus Transformation contest winners ever. They trusted John and Brad back in the day. They each have their own unique genetics and nothing stopped them from becoming their best.

 

You can achieve your best regardless of your genetics.

These are some of the very first Venus Transformation contest winners ever. They trusted John and Brad back in the day. They each have their own unique genetics and nothing stopped them from becoming their best.  John Barban and Brad Pilon learned from the trials and errors of these girls struggles to lose fat and build their best shape.

The experiences and data collected on these first contest winners, along with those of us in the subsequent transformation contests and other research enabled John to develop a new diet protocol called the “The 12 week Undulating Metabolic Override Program”.

The protocol included in the Venus Factor 12-week Fat Loss System is designed to help prevent “crashing” and allow your body some recovery from a calorie deficit, teach your body to become efficient at utilizing protein for muscle repair and recovery, and to teach your body to become more efficient at burning carbohydrates.

The secret to the Venus Factor is the magic of the support community along with hormone research and the experiences of those who succeeded and sustained their fitness level.

The secret to the Venus Factor is the magic of the support community along with hormone research and the experiences of those who succeeded and sustained their fitness level.

What about genetic differences in performance?

  • There is research to show genetic differences effect performance.
  • We constantly compare ourselves with others in the gym and watching sports events.
  • We can’t help doing that, but you should at least try and compare yourself to someone of very similar genetics.
  • Genetics play a huge role in success; it plays a bigger role than anyone ever wanted to admit.
  • It doesn’t mean you are not a good person or equally of value as a human if you don’t have specific genetic gifts.
  • It doesn’t seem fair. No matter how hard you practice you won’t be the same as someone who is truly gifted.  Life is not fair. 
  • If everything was equal the person who did the best hardest work wins.  This is not what happens. Genetics plays the bigger role.
  • We are all unique.
  • But at the same time genetics should not be a reason to not work hard to be your best.
  • It is not an excuse to not work hard to achieve your best.  As far as performances compare yourself to your own performance; improve yourself.
  • What you can achieve?
  • Knowing about genetics is great way to understand what other people have achieved.
  • John and Brad go into great detail into how genetics affect various sports. 
  • It does not always mean if you train harder you will get the same results as someone else.
  • It does not mean you should give up training.
  • Everyone is capable of change.
  • Don’t base any of your metrics on performance.
  • All that matters is your own results.
  • How you respond to exercise and diet is unique to you.   You can try things that others do, but it does not mean it will work for you. Also what works for you will change over time. You will have to experiment to find what works for you.

John gives a long explanation about how genetics affect certain sports – I almost spit out my coffee on my screen!

Oh my gosh I never knew! When John described specifically what on the body makes a good runner I almost spit my coffee out all over my screen.  Why?  Because I’ve spent over 30 years trying to be good runner and I am completely the opposite of what makes a good runner.  The good news is that it does not really matter.  I always concentrated on merely improving my own PR (Personal Record).

Once after my dear husband Randy was my “support team” for a 50 mile race he said it was funny to see me during various parts of the race.  I didn’t look like anyone else there, I was short and stocky, with thick limbs, totally the opposite of what John describes in the podcast, even for what makes a good runner in the hot climate.  It was so crazy to learn this today.

It makes me realize that I’ve always done well with running in spite of having the completely wrong genetics for good performance.  Even when I was slightly over weight I typically placed in most races in the top 1/3.  There were even a few times when I placed in the top three for my age group, and twice in my life I placed first overall (in smaller races).  I love running and I still do.  So having the completely wrong genetics didn’t stop me from achieving my best and enjoying a sport that I love.

Once I did the Venus workout system for awhile I found that it improved my running performance.  Earlier this year, at age 52, I completed my best PR for the half marathon and a then two months later I got a first place for my age group the Komen Rock The Race Sacramento 2013 5k.  I still very much enjoy the sport of running.

 

My own genetic experiment

Brad talks for a moment about the nature vs. nurture controversy.  Not by choice but I have had a chance to see a bit about what can happen a lot with nature vs. nurture in my own life.  I have an identical twin and we are both nearly 53 years old now.  I mentioned a bit about my upbringing and showed a picture of my twin and I when we were little girls in “Ten Thousand Ways that Won’t Work“.

My twin and I have not lived together since we were eleven years old.  We have taken two very different paths in life.  Since we have identical genetics we can both look at each other and it’s like looking in the mirror and seeing what could have been if we each made different lifestyle choices.  It gives us each a very unique perspective.

My identical twin and I were 21 years old in this picture.  Only about 50% of my friends are able to guess which is me.

My identical twin and I were 21 years old in this picture. Only about 50% of my friends are able to guess which is me.

 

You can change your shape.  You can achieve your dream.  You can affect many things that you have control over.  You can build muscle.  You can lose fat.  You do not have to accept where you are.  You do not have to accept being over weight or obesity, regardless of your age or the amount of body fat you have at the moment.  At some point you may have to accept certain genetic limitations, but you will never know until you try.

There are no athletes in my family.  There was no example for me to see what I could achieve for myself.  I always suspected I might have some athletic ability.  There were a couple of times when I was young when I came close, but no where near what I achieved after finding the Venus Factor at age 50.

It wasn’t until I strove for the Venus Ideal and learned the truth about my nutritional needs that I far surpassed what I ever dreamed possible for myself.  At almost 53 years old I believe I have now reached my genetic potential.  Now I’m working just to stay healthy, functional, have a good quality of life (as much as in my control), and to keep a shape that I feel good about in my every day life.  I am enjoying the Venus lifestyle very much and I have maintained my level of fitness for several years now.  I’m still pretty darn happy about that.

-Ro

 

Find out what John and Brad have to say about Genetic Differences in Performance:

IMMERSION Clients May Login and Download Podcast Here

Not a Venus Index IMMERSION client? Click here to find out more…

 

Ask Nicola; Three Things That Can Hinder Your Success

There are three major things that can get in the way of your success:

This goes for all success, not just diet and fitness.

  •     Relationships with others
  •     Relationship with self
  •     Life stress and pressure

These will be your major challenges.  John and Nicola talk about these issues in today’s podcast.

You will experience negative backlash as you get in shape.  You will never be able to guess who will be on your side or who will not be as supportive as you thought.  As you gain your success it will put your relationships in a state of flux.

Some people who were your friends or that you are close to will become jealous or insecure because of your success; while at the same time you will make new friends who will support you.  All of your relationships will be tested.

The change in the relationship with yourself:   Are you being compassionate, kind, and loving to yourself?  You can’t rely on others to validate you.  Give yourself permission to be good to you.  This will help you with your relationships with others.

 

I’m finding out who my real friends are.  I’m happy to say that my friend Carla here is a true and trusted friend.  Our support goes both ways and we both cheer each other on and help each other when we are down.  It’s great to have true friends.

I’m finding out who my real friends are. I’m happy to say that my friend Carla here is a true and trusted friend. Our support goes both ways and we both cheer each other on and help each other when we are down. It’s great to have true friends.

 

My support circle changed.

Like everyone else who has paved the way before me, and what I also see happening for newer women finding success in our community; all the relationships around me changed.  I’m blessed to have an incredibly supportive husband (my dear Randy).

Randy has actually changed along with me regarding healthier eating habits.  He was the one who helped me get started and he has been my support all along.

Even though Randy was never over weight we both agreed that some of the steps we took to help me lose weight we will keep for good, like not having snack foods around the house as a normal routine.

Randy has even taken up Eat Stop Eat practices as a way to maintain his physique.  He also decided to join me regarding not consuming typical breakfast cereals and discarding a lot of the eating habits that are ingrained in our current modern North American society.

We both have evolved to a non-conventional eating lifestyle where neither of us puts pressure on the other to eat at specific times or when the other is not hungry.  We both respect the needs of each other while staying healthy and fit.

It does not mean we have to neglect time together.  Sometimes I’ll have a cup of tea and chat with him while he is eating, or other times we will skip a meal together yet sit outside on the deck sipping coffee or tea instead.  Other times we make an effort to plan a meal together.

I’m not sure how successful I would be without Randy’s support.  He was there for me during all the painful flux of my relationships with others.

 

 

We both have evolved to a non-conventional eating lifestyle where neither of us puts pressure on the other to eat at specific times or when the other is not hungry.

We both have evolved to a non-conventional eating lifestyle where neither of us puts pressure on the other to eat at specific times or when the other is not hungry.

 

Other people are still used to the old you.

The thing is; the others who said hurtful things to me many times didn’t even realize how hurtful they were.  When you gain success it changes how others view you and themselves, it causes insecurity, uncertainty, and it is scary to some people.  They were used to the old you. 

I have found out who my real friends are.  Friendships continued to change even after my fitness success and as I progressed along and found success in other aspects of my life. 

As my success increased, I had yet even new “fitness support” friends become negative and hurtful.  Again, I don’t think they meant it, I think they are just so wrapped up in their own insecurity that they don’t even see it.

It doesn’t mean that I can’t still be friends with them, but I’ve learned I have to put my guard up a little now and establish new boundaries.  It’s just part of life.

 

Don’t look back.

My new motto for when people are mean, jealous, and ugly towards me is to be thankful because they are a reminder of what I don’t want to be.  I can’t control them.  I can’t change them.  I can’t tell them they might need counseling for their insecurities, constant negative talk, or constantly putting other people down.

I can only change me.  I can decide I do not want to be like that.  Besides that, I know that the real reason they are hurtful towards me is because they themselves are hurting.  I can decide to be the one with compassion, yet refuse to be a doormat.

I also can’t spend the time to think about their negativity as it hinders my own growth and my own effort to strive to be positive and forward thinking.  It’s a waste of time and it is toxic.  My life is moving forward too fast to turn backwards and look at them.  Just like everything else we do; keep moving forward.

Randy and I have seen some funny changes over the last several years with the interactions I now have with people all around me in all aspects of my life.  As a female you will find that as you become fit many other females will become frosty towards you, yet the men will become friendlier and you will get more attention.   In general you will get more respect.

At the Sheriff’s department Randy jokingly says that I went from being an “ink blot” deputy (I would say I was frumpy and more matronly looking), to someone who looks more youthful and is highly respected. I am now sought out for advice and opinions or sometimes just for chit chat when I was previously mostly ignored.

It’s mostly all fun but it’s hard when at times it costs you some friendships.  It’s the price you pay for doing something extraordinary and improving yourself.  It is something we all have to work through.  Like Nicola said, the best place to start is with you.

-Ro

 

Dr. Nicola Bird

Nicola’s Online Program

Listen to John’s interview with Dr. Nicola Bird here, and please “like” it when you’re done:

 

For Everything There Is a Season

Liss is one of our Every Day Venus ladies who knows how to flow with the seasons.

Liss is one of our Every Day Venus ladies who knows how to flow with the seasons.

 

What about goals and systems?

There has been a lot of talk recently in our community about the difference between goals and systems.  Many of us read an interesting article recently on the Summer Tomato which gave us some food for thought.

Most of us have learned over time in our weight loss journey that there is no one size fits all.  No method that works for everyone.  No single right way or wrong way.  It all varies from person to person.  It all varies for a single person as you go through all the different seasons of your life.

What works for diet changes over time with your seasons.  What fits for physical fitness varies over time with your seasons.  What works for your successful mindset varies over time with your seasons.

Mind, body, and your life circumstances; all have their seasons.  Sometimes goals are appropriate and other times systems are appropriate.  You can move in and out of these as you please.

Much of what works with the Venus Systems is that the goal metrics we shoot for are mostly a range.  The weight goal is a range, the hip circumference is a range, and although the shoulders and waist are specific, most of us learned in the end that it’s also kind of a range.

The range is learned once you lose the “excess fat” and get fairly close to the specific ideal.  You learn what works for your individual lifestyle.  You learn what your body is once you get down to a healthy level.

Each body is different, even for two people of the same height, you learn to work with what you got.  You have control over some things and not other things.  You learn acceptance.

Liss is a perfect example of someone who uses goals and systems, and flows with the seasons in her life; balancing her family life and fun summer vacation times. She writes about much of this on her blog and in our private online community.

 

Goals and systems for the calorie deficit.

The diet and ability to sustain a calorie deficit changes with time.  Many of us found we could do an aggressive calorie deficit once or twice, but then it takes it’s toll and we find it’s no longer a good idea.  The season changed on us.  It’s a new season for some of us and we can’t do that anymore.

That is why John and designed the Venus Factor fat loss protocol in our manual.

Much of the time the season that comes upon us is out of our control.  Women in mid life have hormone changes.  Heck we females have hormone changes all of our lives between normal cycles, having kids, nursing kids, mid life, various health issues, it seems endless.

We have learned to roll with it and it is the same with our diet and whether our not we can sustain a calorie deficit.

Many women with find that with monthly cycles a calorie deficit is just not going to happen for one week a month.  They realize that it’s actually a win to simply eat at maintenance that one week in addition to any other days they might eat at maintenance.  Trying to force the issue will result in disaster.  This is not to say that some women can’t do it.  Most will find it extremely difficult.  This is normal.

Your ability to eat at a calorie deficit changes with the seasons in your life; work stress, family stress, health stress, changing hormones, you name it.  It’s always okay to eat at maintenance.  Always always always.

 

Always look forward, take a deep breath and stay positive

If you still need to lose significant body fat to be healthy remember that eating at maintenance is always a win. The same goes for if you are already at a healthy body fat and you just want to get a little leaner; this is a slower process and in many ways harder.  Eating at maintenance is always a win.  I will type this again; Eating at maintenance is always a win.

The only losing game is a long string of over eating and this usually happens when you simply give up. Just because you over eat one day or so, or even a few days or a week, it does not mean you have ruined all.

You can’t go back and change it, just move forward.  Just keep moving forward.  Leigh Peele gives really good advice, she said the same thing in her forum and on her Facebook page recently.

 

Don’t live in regret or have those moments where you get down on what you have done, could have done, etc. It’s a waste of time and literally achieves nothing because you can’t time travel. You can’t change the past. Nothing can be done. What you can do is push yourself now, today and the days that follow to make smart moves towards the direction of being a person you are proud of. When you are prideful in yourself, you accomplish things.

When you have doubt, lack self trust, or judge yourself in such a harsh manner – what is there to do than cower in your own insults? After all, no one knows better low blows than the ones we can throw at ourselves.

Don’t throw those blows. Look forward instead.

-Leigh Peele

 

Never beat yourself for eating at maintenance or even over eating sometimes.  Again the only thing harmful is self loathing or beating yourself up and then giving up.  It does no good.  It has no value.  It’s more than a waste time, it’s toxic.

Think of eating at maintenance as something necessary for your health and periodically part of your over all long term weight loss goal (or system if you choose to focus more on the process than the goal).

If you need to shift your mental mindset to stay positive and healthy do it.  Learn to roll with it like you’ve learned to with many other things in your life already.

We are all different, we all have to find our own way in a sense, but what worked for me in most of my fat loss cycles was focusing on the system and not the end goal.  It gets me to my goal, which is a specific shape and feel that I like for my body.  It does me no good to look at the scale anymore.  It does me no good to look at the tape measure anymore.  It does me no good to get a DXA scan.

What does me good is meandering in the direction of a calorie deficit with a fierce mindset (because it’s hard) yet learning to take maintenance breaks as often and as long as needed.  I can tell by how I feel.  I can tell by how I sleep.  I can tell by how strong I am.  I can tell by my ability to take on stress.

 

The answer is in you

As you go through the Venus Factor systems, listen to the coaching calls, read what others do, listen to the success stories in the contest interviews, research and experiment, but learn to listen to your own body.  It has the answer even better than a calculator estimate or the protocol or theory in the manual.

Your own body; it is the end game.  It tells you when you ate too much.  It tells you when you ate too little.  It tells you when you pushed too hard.  It tells you when you took on too much stress.  It tells you when it’s time to adjust your priorities.  It tells you when it’s time to change your mindset.  It tells you when it’s time to switch from a goal to a system, or back to a goal, or any combination of the two.

Everything we do in the journey here at Venus is a lifestyle and it’s long term.  Take the time.  Make the time.  You are worth it.

Learn to roll with the seasons.

It is training for maintaining.

Have a fabulous weekend,

-Ro

 

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